Lion of the Blogosphere

Archive for May 2014

Male virginity shaming

I found this on Reddit, and it’s so well written I will repeat it below:

Want to help prevent another Elliot Rodgers? Speak out against male virginity shaming!

Male virginity shaming is a serious problem in western cultures. Admitting that you’re male virgin in a college sets you up with continuous mockery from your peers and guaranteed social isolation. If you’re a male virgin in college I highly recommend you hide this fact, it is sad that you have to do this, but it honestly is the best option.

I am no longer virgin (I got a girlfriend late in college), but while I was a virgin I was treated horribly in college.

Before I start listing examples from my life, let me say that 65% of the male virginity shaming I experienced was conducted by men, often in the presence of women, and 35% was instigated by women.

1) Men would mention my virginity to any girl I was flirting with in a party.

2) People in my dorm thought it was funny to shout that I was virgin loudly in public, I was the only one in my floor.

3) I was constantly harassed about my virginity; jokes were constantly said about getting me a hooker, because “obviously” I had no shot on my own.

4) An internet meme was shared about me focusing on my lack of sexual experience.

5) I was constantly made fun of for not wanting to sleep with a random girl. Personally, I figured if I was virgin at 20 years old I might as well wait for someone special.

6) Groups of Women, who learned from men that I was a virgin, would talk about how undesirable I am because of my virginity.

7) The jokes continued without my presence, I realized this while on facebook.

There is a whole lot more that I have chosen to forget.

Apart from the way people treated me, I have noticed that college campuses actually contribute to the idea that “if your not having sex your looser a who’s missing out.” For example, in the dorms in my school there were these posters (often put up by the obsessively sex positive women’s center) EVERYWHERE advertising “Sex Safety Condom Olympics” with the words, “Valentines Day ended but you’re still having sex.” How the hell is this acceptable?! If you’re a virgin or someone in a dryspell seeing these posters make you feel like shitty and frustrated. It creates the illusion that everyone around you is having constant sex while you’re alone by yourself. We need to stop treating virgins like a freak of nature.

I genuinely think that I was handed a bad hand when it came to interacting with women. I grew up in an Asian American family in which I never witnessed romantic male-female interaction. My family did not hold casual conversations, we only spoke about schoolwork. Before I had a shot with girls, I had to be properly socialized which took a couple years in college. The people shitting on me for being a virgin, grew up in normal upper-middle class white families. They never understood how much of shock college was for me. I think many socially awkward male virgins in college are also the products of similar socially inept environments.

Whether anyone choses to be a virgin to wait for the right girl, or if someone can’t not get laid because of their behavior, it’s none of our business. If we are going to be in a liberal world in which sex is no big deal, then not having sex should be no big deal as well. Male virginity shaming is not acceptable. It hurts people and it makes people angry and bitter. I can speak from personal experience.

It’s been so long since I’ve been in college that even I am surprised at the extent to which losing virginity in high school has become such a social norm and source of shame for men who are still virgins when they become old enough to vote.

When a Sociology professor at Penn did an anonymous survey, of this and other things, a significant percentage of respondents were virgins, even seniors (if I remember correctly, 16% of seniors were virgins and 50% of freshmen). That was in the late 1980s. So at that time, still being a virgin when starting college was normal. And being a virgin when a senior, while in the minority, was still enough within the norm so that it wasn’t weird and freakish.

I think that point #6 is especially poignant. “Groups of Women, who learned from men that I was a virgin, would talk about how undesirable I am because of my virginity.” Thus male virginity can lead to a vicious circle in which the fact of virginity makes the man undesirable to women thus decreasing the chance of losing the virginity.

Based on this message, I guess the advice for parents of male children is to make sure they have sex when they are in high school so they don’t end up the weirdo in their freshman college dorm.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 28, 2014 at 9:53 AM

Posted in Males and Females

Thoughts on why Elliott Rodger behaved the way he did

1. Elliot had extreme shyness, and was especially terrified of girls

In my summary of Elliot Rodger’s autobiography, I explained how Elliot developed severe social anxieties because of his inherent high-N personality and being bullied.

There are lots of comments, both here as well as elsewhere on the web, in which people simply don’t get this at all, or don’t want to get it. Perhaps they never experienced any sort of social anxiety ever in their lives, and thus they can’t possibly imagine being fearful of merely talking to people. But for Elliot, probably nothing terrified him more than interacting with a girl whom he is sexually attracted to. Sure it’s an irrational fear, but such is the nature of phobias that they are irrational.

At the same time as he’s terrified of girls, he also is sexually attracted to them, because sexual attraction to girls is part of human nature for males.

Because the concept of severe and crippling shyness of girls is an idea that’s so alien to some people they are ascribing the wrong explanations to Elliott’s problems.

One wrong explanation is that Elliott must have been gay. Any man who has never had sex with a girl must by gay, right? Well actually there are other explanations such as severe shyness, but because that neurosis doesn’t register with some people, they assume he must be gay.

The other explanation I’ve seen a lot of, almost always from women, is that Elliott didn’t have any success with girls because he was a misogynist or otherwise not morally deserving because he was an evil person.

I’m not arguing against the proposition that murdering a bunch of people is an evil act, but the prisons are full of non-virginal men with illegitimate children. To the extent that moral worth increases a man’s chances of not being a virgin, it’s a very tenuous connection at best. In the past when people believed in more traditional Christian morals, they would have believed that a man who had sex before marriage was an immoral person rather than a person who had been rewarded for his good deeds.

Here’s a passage from Elliott’s autobiography demonstrating his fear of girls:

At one moment I pictured what my life in high school would be like, based on how things have been for me in middle school. It was not a bright picture. I didn’t want to have to deal with the cruelty of girls in high school, and I imagined that it would be much worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. I begged my parents to send me to Crespi Carmelite High School, a catholic all-boys school.

Father took me there for a tour, and it didn’t look so bad. It was a very prestigious private school. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with any fear of girls there. We submitted an application. A few weeks later I received the news that I had been accepted to Crespi.

A guy with Elliott’s extreme social anxiety of girls is simply not going to find himself a girlfriend, especially not a pretty one like the girls he was obsessed with, no matter how expensive a car his parents bought him. And it should be noted that he didn’t get the BMW until the last year of his life at which point he was pretty much beyond hope and in a very dark place planning his Day of Retribution.

In addition to non-anxious people not being able to understand Elliott’s phobia of girls, this seems to go in the other direction as well. Several times in the autobiography, Elliott expresses surprise and shock when he discovers that some other guy has a girlfriend, because he can’t imagine himself engaging in the sequence of events required to obtain a girlfriend, so he doesn’t understand at all how someone else does it.

For example, he writes about one of his roommates at Santa Barbara:

I was a bit shocked when Spencer told me that he used to have a girlfriend. It was a casual comment that came out of a conversation we had. I didn’t understand how a chubby and unattractive guy like Spencer would have been able to get a girlfriend, while I’ve never had the chance to. The guy was three inches shorter than me, and even I am considered short for my age. I could not fathom how such a thing was possible

2. Elliott believed that the only validation of self-worth is to have a pretty girlfriend who he has sex with

It’s interesting that his desire for a pretty girlfriend enrages a lot of female commenters. How dare he feel “entitled” to such a thing? The word entitled comes up a lot in the comments. But don’t all men feel they are entitled to girlfriends, sex, or marriage? Without this feeling of entitlement, the human race would come to an end. In other circumstances, if a man expressed the belief that he didn’t deserve or wasn’t worthy of having a girlfriend, he’d be accused of being depressed or having low self esteem, and in need of therapy to cure his feelings of low self-worth.

I agree, of course, that Elliott was dreaming of girls who were out of his league, although perhaps all girls were out of his league given his extreme social anxieties. But the important thing here is that this is what he believed, and because he knew that the only important thing in the world worth living for was out of his reach, life wasn’t worth living, but his life could at least have some useful purpose if he took down some of his enemies with him. Yes, I know, it’s deviant thinking (although not necessarily psychopathic thinking or narcissistic thinking ), but that was his thought process.

How did Elliott come upon these beliefs?

For starters, all you have to do is turn on your television, and you will get the message that the cool and popular people are having sex. Popular culture is also eager to give us the message that male virgins are losers, such as in the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

As for why he thinks that his girlfriend must be pretty, he probably learned that behavior from the adults in his life, his parents, his stepmother, and their friends.

When he was seven, his parents got divorced, and a very short time later a beautiful actress, Soumaya, moves in with his father. Furthermore, we can’t help but note that Soumaya has a pretty lousy personality and treats Elliott poorly. The further message he gets from his father’s choice of a second wife is that women are primarily valued for their beauty and not for any other positive attributes they may have.

Additionally, we have his parents’ Hollywood friends, such as Simon Astaire who has sex with famous models and probably brought some beautiful girlfriends with him to parties that his father hosted.

This was also an environment where it seemed that every kid was being groomed by his parents to be an actor or actress. There are very few plain-looking actors and actresses, and maybe there’s one ugly person in all of Hollywood who is occasionally called in as extra when they need an ugly person. This Hollywood scene in which Elliott grew up valued looks above all else. There is certainly no evidence from Elliott’s autobiography that his parents valued things like getting a good education or being successful in any career other than Hollywood.

I can also imagine his parents disparaging women or girls they see who aren’t attractive. And Soumaya, especially Soumaya. Can’t you imagine Soumaya saying something like “that girlfriend that X brought to dinner is ugly, what is he thinking” or “Y’s daughter is fat, her mom had better put her on a diet”? I know I can. Or maybe it was even his mother who said stuff like that. Elliott’s mother is a mystery; Elliott was probably unable to write about her objectively.

Given this background, it’s easy to see why Elliott may have desperately wished that he could prove his worth to his parents and Soumaya by presenting a girlfriend who was the type of girl that this culture valued.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 27, 2014 at 9:34 PM

Simon Astaire talks to The Telegraph about Elliot Rodger

From The Telegraph, a brief interview with Simon Astaire, a writer and close friend of the Rodger family.

Mr Astaire said: “He was a fragile guy not violent. He was very distant, very reserved. He was so quiet, he never looked you straight in the eye, he would look at his shoes and shuffle and got startled if you started a conversation.”

He described having a conversation with Rodger a few years ago after seeing him standing alone outside at a Christmas party. They talked about the loneliness of writers.
Mr Astaire said: “I felt happy I’d connected with him, but as I left and looked back I thought he looked like the loneliest man I had ever seen.”

He said YouTube videos in which Rodger confidently boasted how he was going to take “revenge against humanity” appeared to be “someone totally different I didn’t recognise”.

1. This confirms the story that Rodger suffered from extreme shyness.

2. It’s interesting to note that Simon Astaire is very successful, and his former girlfriend is Saffron Aldridge, a fashion model who was featured prominently in a Ralph Lauren campaign. While they split up before Elliott would have been able to remember her, it’s likely that Elliott saw him with other beautiful women who were his later girlfriends, and I think that this crowd his parents hung out with contributed to Elliott’s belief that having a beautiful girlfriend was the most important endorsement of his self-worth.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 27, 2014 at 5:38 PM

Elliot Rodger’s autobiography, a taboo topic like HBD?

Rap Genius co-founder Mahbod Moghadam was fired from the company he co-founded because he blogged about Elliot Rodger’s autobiography, and praised it for being very well written (which it is for an unedited autobiography written by a 22-year-old kid without a college education).

Mahbod Moghadam’s comments about Elliott’s sister:

Elliott barely mentions his sister Georgia throughout the book!

Towards the end, however, he tells us that they did not get along and becomes extremely angry when he hears her having sex with her boyfriend

MY GUESS: his sister is smoking hot

I also wondered about the sister and why Elliott barely mentioned her throughout the book.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 27, 2014 at 7:24 AM

NY Post interview with Monette Moio’s father

NY Post interviewed Monette Moio’s father. Monette is one of the girls that Elliott specifically mentioned in his autobiography.

The father is defensive and contradictory.

Her father, veteran Hollywood stuntman John Moio, said she only “vaguely remembers him” and was far too young to have been one of the “mean, cruel, and heartless creatures” that Rodger railed against.

While it’s certainly possible that she only vaguely remembers him (because he was a shy nobody who was perceived as weird), cruelty from popular girls in middle school is certainly very likely. If Rodger remembers her being mean to him, it probably happened that way.

“He was [a year] older. She remembers him being odd, that’s it,” the dad said.

That part is probably true, that other kids in middle school thought he was weird. But he wrote that himself in his autobiography, so she’s backing him up that he correctly perceived how he was perceived.

He’s a sociopath. She hasn’t seen him since school.

Popular amateur psychiatric evaluations. I don’t believe he was a sociopath, although his detachment from humanity because he had no friends led him to not empathizing much with other people. Sociopaths, to quote Wikipedia, have “disinhibited or bold behavior,” and Elliot was the very opposite of that.

“Maybe the girls she hung around with did poke fun at him, but they were kids. ‘My daughter was not a bully, she’s one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. She probably rejected his aggressive advances. If you want to call that bullying then fine.

Here’s the contradictory part. First she doesn’t remember him, and then he rejected “aggressive advances” which surely would have been remembered. Actually, Elliott was way too shy and afraid of girls to make any advances on any girls ever in his entire short and tragic life.

In all likelihood, Monette was never aware that Elliott had a crush on her, and she most probably was part of a “group of popular Seventh Grade girls” who teased him once. The incident probably seemed so ordinary and inconsequential to Monette that she doesn’t remember it.

Elliott also writes “She must have thought I was an ultimate loser,” and that part turns out to be true because she describes him as an “odd” kid who was too unimportant to remember.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 27, 2014 at 7:12 AM

Interview with Elliot’s former high school principal

Here’s a very interesting article.

[Deborah] Smith, the former Independence High School principal, first came into contact with Rodger when she worked as a Los Angeles Unified School District behavioral specialist and Rodger was attending Taft High School in Woodland Hills. Smith helped Rodger — who was identified as a child with Asperberger’s [sic] syndrome and who received support in the school district for it — get into a smaller school after an incident in which he suddenly became “socially frozen” in the hallway shortly after starting at the charter school in Woodland Hills, she said.

“He became panic stricken in a hallway and couldn’t move,” Smith said, noting the incident lasted for at least a few minutes.

Smith, who soon became the principal of Independence High and today holds the post at Daniel Pearl Magnet High School, said she believes that district staff had to call his mother so she could walk him out to the car. Smith said she recalls that he didn’t return to the school after that incident and he was eventually transferred to Independence High after spending some weeks at home.

Smith felt confident about placing him at Independence, she said, because she knew he would not be picked on or bullied, something she felt he was vulnerable to because of his slight stature and “very quiet” persona.

Rodger was “extremely bright,” had near-perfect attendance and mostly got straight A’s in his assignments at Independence, Smith said. But his social awkwardness kept him from engaging with other students, she said.

Many of her students tried to reach out to him, she said, and they would encourage him to join in. But even when he did, she said, he wouldn’t really engage and would only listen.

“For the most part, I hate to say this, he was probably fairly invisible,” she said. “He pretty much stayed by himself. He would come to my office occasionally. Very rarely would he come and sit down and have a conversation with me. When he did, I felt like it was a victory. (It was like) ‘Oh my gosh, he had a conversation with me’… Most of the time, he would answer questions with one word or as minimally as he could.”

So it’s as I suspected (and wrote in my previous post summarizing his autobiography), even though Elliot never mentioned this at all in his autobiography, the adults in Elliot’s life believed that he had Asperger’s Syndrome, although I continue to believe that this was an incorrect diagnosis, and in fact because of this diagnosis he never got any treatment for his real problems of social anxiety.

Did Elliot never mention Asperger’s because he was in denial or ashamed of the diagnosis, or because the adults in his life kept that diagnosis from him?

Symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome include eccentric or repetitive behaviors, communication difficulties, coordination problems (but in fact he was coordinated enough to be an average level skateboarder when he was younger), and of course obsessive interests in weird things. I don’t consider his interest in World of Warcraft to be an Asperger’s type of obsessive interest. WoW is not really that abnormal, millions of people play it. He had the same videogaming interests as his nerdy friends. It’s a normal nerdy interest and not a weird interest. Also, he quit playing WoW after realizing it was nerdy and not helping him develop.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 26, 2014 at 2:17 PM

Posted in Psychology

Final summary of Elliot Rodger’s autobiography

I label his document as an autobiography, not a memoir and not a “manifesto” as people keep wrongly calling it. The two-page epilogue, where he describes the ideal society without women (which of course seems extremely weird to most people) might be described as a very brief manifesto, but the first 135 pages are purely an autobiography. The intent is to explain how his life led him to be the way he turned out.

The key factor in understanding Elliot’s personality is that he was very high on the “neuroticism” scale. People, including “professional” psychiatrists who should have known better, seem to think that he had all sorts of other mental “illnesses” such as Asperger’s Syndrome, or later in his life schizophrenia. Elliot knew that he didn’t have schizophrenia, because he was quite introspective about why he was messed up, and that’s why he refused to take the Risperidone that was prescribed for him. I think that Elliot really wanted help, but he had too much social anxiety to ask for it properly, or maybe the people who were supposed to be helping him were just too clueless.

The Wikipedia article on Neuroticism describes it thusly:

Neuroticism is a fundamental personality trait in the study of psychology characterized by anxiety, moodiness, worry, envy, and jealousy. Individuals who score high on neuroticism are more likely than the average to experience such feelings as anxiety, anger, envy, guilt, and depressed mood. They respond more poorly to stressors, are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. They are often self-conscious and shy, and they may have trouble controlling urges and delaying gratification. Neuroticism is a risk factor for the “internalizing” mental disorders such as phobia, depression, panic disorder, and other anxiety disorders, all of which are traditionally called neuroses.

Neuroticism is not a very trendy psychological diagnosis. Every kid is being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but kids who simply have very high Neuroticism are ignored and don’t get the help that they need. Yet anyone who bothers to read all of Elliot’s autobiography will see that the Wikipedia explanation of high Neuroticism perfectly matches what Elliot experienced.

Elliot’s second strike against him is that he was small and physically weak. Boys who have high neuroticism and are also small and physically weak wind up having bad interactions with their peers that lead to social anxiety and bullying, and that’s exactly what happened with Elliot as well.

Strangely, he didn’t talk about being bullied in elementary school. I attribute that to the fact that he attended an elementary school where all of the children came from affluent families and thus they were much better behaved than children at regular working-class schools. Elliot had friends in elementary school, but at the same time his shyness prevented him from being as popular as he wanted to be, and he was never good at making friends on his own without his mother setting “playdates” for him.

Pinecrest Middle School was worse for him than elementary school because his shyness prevented him from making friends at the new school, and his friends from elementary school apparently went to other middle schools.

For the first few days, I withdrew into a defensive shell and didn’t really talk to anyone. I did observe, however. I observed how everyone acted, who the “cool kids” were, what they were like… and it was all so intimidating. The social challenges that I faced in Fifth Grade were intensified tenfold.

Middle school was also when he became aware of girls, but he was too shy to talk to them. Middle school is also when he became aware that girls like certain other boys a lot more than they liked him.

I also observed the girls. I was still very short for my age, and most of the girls were taller than me. I hadn’t reached puberty yet, but I was starting to admire female prettiness. There was one group of pretty, popular girls, and they all seemed to like hanging out with that boy Robert Morgan. I didn’t yet desire girls sexually, but I still felt envy towards Robert for being able to attract the attention of all the popular girls. What was so special about Robert Morgan? I constantly asked myself.

A particularly bad social experience for Elliot happened at summer camp between the 6th and 7th grades.

At this camp, an incident happened that would scar me for life. The first time that I was treated badly by a girl occurred at this camp. I was innocently playing with the friends I made, and they were tickling me, something people always did because I was very ticklish. I accidently bumped into a pretty girl the same age as me, and she got very angry. She cursed at me and pushed me, embarrassing me in front of my friends. I didn’t know who this girl was… She was only at Pinecrest for summer camp… But she was very pretty, and she was taller than me. I immediately froze up and went into a state of shock. One of my friends asked me if I was ok, and I didn’t answer. I remained very quiet for the rest of the day.

I couldn’t believe what had happened. Cruel treatment from women is ten times worse than from men. It made me feel like an insignificant, unworthy little mouse. I felt so small and vulnerable. I couldn’t believe that this girl was so horrible to me, and I thought that it was because she viewed me as a loser. That was the first experience of female cruelty I endured, and it traumatized me to no end. It made me even more nervous around girls, and I would be extremely weary and cautious of them from that point on.

He describes another bad experience with girls in the 8th grade:

I became known as the “weird kid” at Pinecrest, and people started to make fun of me, but I didn’t care. I had my online games to distract me from the harsh realities of life that I was too scared to face. The only time I did care was when a group of popular Seventh Grade girls started teasing me, which hurt a lot. One of these girls was Monette Moio, a pretty blonde girl who was Ashton’s younger sister. She must have thought I was an ultimate loser. I hated her so much, and I will never forget her. I started to hate all girls because of this. I saw them as mean, cruel, and heartless creatures that took pleasure from my suffering.

Ashton Moio is a somewhat successful young actor. His sister Monette has not had as successful an acting career, but a search of Google shows that she is indeed a very pretty blonde girl. She seems to have taken down her twitter feed, perhaps in shame that her cruel treatment of Elliot in the 8th grade contributed to Elliot becoming a mass murderer.

For 9th grade, he attended a boys Caholic high school, Crespi. He had asked his parents to send him there because of his bad experiences with and fear of girls, but this didn’t turn out to be a very good school for him.

My life at Crespi got even worse. Alfred and Brice apparently told everyone how weird I was at Pinecrest, and people in my own grade started to tease me. They found out that I didn’t like being called a skateboarder, and it was true. Because I failed to become good at skateboarding, I developed a hatred for the sport, and whenever someone called me a skateboarder, it reminded me of my failure and I got very angry. The whole school started calling me it just to anger me, along with other insulting names. They teased me because I was scared of girls, calling me names like “faggot”. People also liked to steal my belongings and run away in an attempt to get me to chase after them. And I did chase after them in a furious rage, but I was so little and weak that they thought it was comical. I hated everyone at that school so much.

It got to a point where I had to wait in a quiet corner for the hallways to clear before I could walk to class. I also took long routes around the school to avoid bullies. My parents began to consider not letting me continue there after Ninth Grade.

After the 9th grade, his parents sent him to a public high school, Taft. This was much worse for Elliot than Crespi.

The first week of Taft was living hell. I was bullied several times, even though I didn’t know anyone there. After being so used to wearing a polo shirt with khaki pants as a school uniform at private schools, I continued to dress like that even after leaving Crespi. I didn’t give any thought to how nerdy I looked. I was too withdrawn, like a turtle tucked into his shell. I was still in the process of going through puberty at the time, so I still looked and sounded like a ten-year-old. Such a persona attracted zero attention from girls, of course, but it did attract bullies like moths to a flame.

I was completely and utterly alone. No one knew me or extended a hand to help me. I was an innocent, scared little boy trapped in a jungle full of malicious predators, and I was shown no mercy. Some boys randomly pushed me against the lockers as they walked past me in the hall. One boy who was tall and had blonde hair called me a “loser”, right in front of his girlfriends. Yes, he had girls with him. Pretty girls. And they didn’t seem to mind that he was such an evil bastard. In fact, I bet they liked him for it. This is how girls are, and I was starting to realize it. This was what truly opened my eyes to how brutal the world is. The most meanest and depraved of men come out on top, and women flock to these men. Their evil acts are rewarded by women; while the good, decent men are laughed at. It is sick, twisted, and wrong in every way. I hated the girls even more than the bullies because of this. The sheer cruelty of the world around me was so intense that I will never recover from the mental scars. Any experience I ever had before never traumatized me as much as this.

I couldn’t do it anymore. On the morning before the second week of Taft started, I broke down and cried in front of my mother, begging her not to make me go to that horrible place. I was so scared that I felt physically sick. I continued crying in the car on the way there, and my mother gave in. Instead of taking me to school, we went to the café at Gelson’s in Calabasas where we had a big talk. I tried to explain how much I was suffering there. She just could not take me to school after that. When we were finished with Gelsons’s, she drove me to my father’s house and told him about what happened. They agreed to take me out of Taft.

I didn’t go to school for a month while my parents decided what to do with me. I took advantage of the time to rest and recover at home, playing my online games. The pain and suffering I had to endure at Taft was all over, but the scars would remain. I tried to forget about it as much as I could. I took a deep breath and relaxed.

After his bad week at Taft, his parents sent him to “Independence Continuation High School.” This appears to be a public high school for children who for some reason or other can’t handle regular high school. Apparently the children who went there was so weird or had so many other issues that Elliot no longer stood out as a target for bullies, because he didn’t write about any more bullying. But neither did he have any friends there at all, and the schoolwork was not academically challenging, so he spent most of his time playing World of Warcraft.

Elliot doesn’t give much of an explanation of why his parents made this schooling decision. My guess is that they may have received a psychiatric diagnosis that Elliot had Asperger’s Syndrome (which I do not agree with at all), and they sort of gave up on him as being academic material. His father had also suffered heavy economic losses from his investment in the documentary movie Oh My God so perhaps he cheapened out and sent him to free public high school rather than find a private school that might have been a better fit for him. Nevertheless, his parents seem to have absolutely no aspirations at all for Elliot to have any sort of academic success, because they allow him to attend the continuation school, and then take just a single class at a community college. It’s not clear to me if this is because they just don’t care about education, or because they view Elliot has having Asperger’s Syndrome and therefore is not capable of succeeding academically. Elliot himself views school strictly as a social (or anti-social) experience and not as a place where one learns things and prepares for a career.

I haven’t written much about Elliot’s parents yet. Elliot’s mother, Li Chin, is Malaysian Chinese, and his father, Peter Rodger, is Scottish. They moved to the United States from England when he was five, and two years later they got divorced.

Peter soon remarried to Soumaya Akaaboune, an actress from a wealthy Moroccan family. The way that Elliot described her, she appeared to view Elliot as annoying baggage from Peter’s first marriage that she didn’t want to have around. In fact, the joint custody arrangement that Peter and Li had doesn’t make any sense to me. Elliot spent half his time at his father’s house, but his father was away most of the time because of his career in movies, so a great deal of time at his father’s house was spent just with Soumaya there, and Soumaya didn’t like him very much. It seems to me that he would have been much better off with his mother. Was the joint custody arrangement a spiteful divorce settlement used as leverage by Peter to avoid paying higher alimony to his ex-wife, or was it that despite Elliot’s fondness for his mother, his mother didn’t actually want him around full-time and was glad that she only had to care for him every other week?

In the later part of Elliot’s life, he’s a much less sympathetic protagonist. In response to his severe social anxiety, he develops an intense hatred for girls, especially the pretty blonde girls he is most obsessed with, and the socially successful men who get to have sex with them. He keeps dropping out of his community college classes, because every class that he’s in there’s at least one couple in which the guy is a good-looking jock type and the girl is a hot blonde, and this enrages him too much and he can’t stand attending the class because of that. He also begins plotting for his “Day of Retribution” at this time of his life. As part of the retribution he planned to kill his stepmother, Soumaya and his little half-brother Jazz. Reading about his desire to kill his little brother was sad because Jazz didn’t do anything wrong besides be born better looking, more athletic, and with less neuroticism than Elliott.

I had an argument with Soumaya while I was visiting father’s house. It started when she began to boast that my brother Jazz was recently signed by an agent to act in T.V. commercials. She said that by the time he is my age, he will be a successful actor. I talked about how Jazz was already so socially savvy for his age, and how I’ve always envied him for it. She told me he will never have any problems with girls, and will lose his virginity while he’s young. I had to sit there and listen to the bitch tell me that my little brother will grow up enjoying the life I’ve always craved for, but missed out on. It is very unfair how some boys are able to live such pleasurable lives while I never had any taste of it, and now it has been confirmed to me that my little brother will become one of them. He will become a popular kid who gets all the girls. Girls will love him. He will become one of my enemies.

Of the entire autobiography, the part about how he planned to kill his little brother was the most disturbing. Luckily, he wasn’t as successful in his “Day of Retribution” as he had planned in the autobiography.

And that’s the summary of Elliot’s life. A consistent theme in the comment thread is that Elliot must have been gay, but the people who say that are just too lazy to read the autobiography and would rather jump to conclusions that a guy who is scrawny and doesn’t have a girlfriend most be gay. In fact, it’s exactly those kind of societal attitudes that I suspect contributed to Elliot’s self-loathing and low self-esteem which led to his unfortunate Day of Retribution. (Also, living in Hell’s Kitchen, the gayest neighborhood in Manhattan, I see gay men every time I leave my apartment, and none of them remind me of Elliot in any way.)

Elliot describes in many places his sexual attraction for girls, although especially (perhaps only) for blonde girls. He describes masturbating while thinking about them, and his erections upon seeing beautiful girls with blonde hair, so no, he’s not gay. The definition of gay is that one is sexually attracted to people of the same sex, while Elliot is clearly sexually attracted to girls, the opposite sex. The reason he was unable to obtain a girlfriend is because he suffered from severe shyness and social anxiety, so he was afraid to talk to them, and his social anxiety also caused him to lack any male friends as well, and without a social network he didn’t have the opportunity to meet any girls. He also probably came off as sort of weird by the time he was college-aged. There was a vicious circle at work in which his social anxiety caused him to have no friends which means he didn’t develop social skills in high school which means he came off as weird which then made it even harder from him to make friends and served to increase his social anxiety.

It’s my feeling, after reading the autobiography, that Elliot’s life didn’t have to turn out the way it did. I don’t see any evidence that he had Asperger’s Syndrome or schizophrenia or other severe mental illness. If his parents had been more attentive when he was younger, I think they could have been able to help coax him out of shyness, and get him proper psychiatric treatment or therapy for his anxiety and neuroticism.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 26, 2014 at 8:42 AM

Only Obama can fix higher education

Just as only Nixon could go to China, only Obama can fix our higher education system. As explained in an article in today’s New York Times:

Mr. Obama and his aides say colleges and universities that receive a total of $150 billion each year in federal loans and grants must prove they are worth it. The problem is acute, they insist: At too many schools, tuition is going up, graduation rates are going down, and students are leaving with enormous debt and little hope of high-paying jobs.

College presidents are pissed, and throwing out all sorts of excuses for why they shouldn’t be subject to being objectively rated like this. The same college presidents who surely unanimously voted for Obama in the first place (except perhaps for presidents of for-profit “colleges”).

But officials said Mr. Obama had repeatedly told his advisers that he was determined not to let college presidents off the hook. Aides said that after the president pledged to deal with rising college costs in his 2013 State of the Union address, he kept rejecting policy ideas as too timid and demanded tougher proposals.

This is exactly what colleges and universities who are receiving $150 billion a year in taxpayer aid need, to be held accountable for that aid, to ensure they are setting up their students to have careers that justify the amount of money that was spent on the college education.

Go Obama!

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 26, 2014 at 6:36 AM

Posted in Education

Elliot Rodger’s autobiography of beta-male rage, part II

Page 98, if this isn’t beta-male rage, then what is?

I remember when Vincent used to be a little nine-year-old boy while I was thirteen. He used to look up to me, and he always watched me play my online games on father’s laptop. Now, he was sixteen and I was twenty. He had the pleasure of having a girlfriend, while I’ve never had one. I was four years older than him, but he surpassed me. The envy, rage, and feeling of inferiority I felt almost made me explode with rage right there at the party, but instead I went to the bathroom and vented to myself in the mirror of how much I hate Vincent and wanted to kill him.

* * *

And when he’s not raging, he tends to be crying, which is not normal behavior for a twenty-year-old male:

When I got home, I began to cry because of all the emotions I experienced that night. My mother heard me and showed some concern, as she always did. She was used to me crying a lot, but she never understood why I was so miserable. I always had to explain it to her – that I was a lonely, miserable, unwanted virgin who women treated with disdain – but she could never grasp how severe this was to me. After all, how could she? She was a woman herself.

Some people might say that these types of crying meltdowns are a symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome, but on the other hand there are emotional girls who cry a lot and they don’t have Asperger’s Syndrome. His susceptibility to crying may be related to his effeminate demeanor (which has been observed in his YouTube videos) and not on mental illness.

* * *

On page 109, he takes his first major step to preparing for his Day of Retribution:

I had the knowledge, in the back of my mind, that the Day of Retribution was very possible now. Going to the shooting range while I waited for my laptop gave me the perfect opportunity to gain some initial training in shooting guns, which will be the main weapons I use as vengeance against my enemies when the Day of Retribution ultimately comes to pass. I walked into the range, rented a handgun from the ugly old redneck cashier, and started to practice shooting at paper targets. As I fired my first few rounds, I felt so sick to the stomach. I questioned my whole life, and I looked at the gun in front of me and asked myself “What am I doing here? How could things have led to this?” I couldn’t believe my life was actually turning out this way. There I was, practicing shooting with real guns because I had a plan to carry out a massacre. Why did things have to be this way, I silently questioned myself as I looked at the handgun I was holding in front of me. I paid my fee and left the range within minutes, feeling as if I was going to be sick. I spent the rest of the waiting period at the Coffee Bean in Oxnard, where I sat by myself feeling absolutely disgusted. My whole world was twisted.

I don’t think this novel is going to have a happy ending.

* * *

On page 117, he writes about the now defunct PUAHate.com:

The Spring of 2013 was also the time when I came across the website PUAHate.com. It is a forum full of men who are starved of sex, just like me. Many of them have their own theories of what women are attracted to, and many of them share my hatred of women, though unlike me they would be too cowardly to act on it. Reading the posts on that website only confirmed many of the theories I had about how wicked and degenerate women really are. Most of the people on that website have extremely stupid opinions that I found very frustrating, but I found a few to be quite insightful.

* * *

On page 128, where he writes about his sister having sex:

I arrived at the house one day, my mother being at work, and heard the sounds of Samuel plunging his penis into my sister’s vagina through her closed room door, along with my sister’s moans. I stood there and listened to it all. So my sister, who was four years younger than me, managed to lose her virginity before I did. It reminded me of how pathetic I was, that at the age of twenty-two, I was still a virgin.

* * *

It’s only 137 pages. The last four pages are blank.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 25, 2014 at 8:43 PM

Elliot Rodger’s autobiography

Elliot Rodger’s autobiography.

This looks like a long read, will comment when I’m finished.

* * *

This is truly historic that a beta-male-rage type of mass murderer has left behind such a detailed account of his life. I’m only on page 17 of this 141-page autobiography. As a young child, Elliot was short and physically weak, prone to crying a lot, shy, who enjoyed arts and crafts but wasn’t good at sports. He claims that he was happy during his early childhood and this is probably true. His early childhood probably would have been more hellish if he had grown up in a prole neighborhood where he would have been picked in mercilessly by the other kids, but because he grew up in wealthy neighborhoods, the other kids at school seemed pretty well-behaved.

His mother was Chinese. There’s no physical description of her, but I suspect that she is a petite and ectomorphic woman, not atypical for Asian women, and she passed on those physical traits to her son. A lesson to those white men on the internet who seem to think that this type of woman would make an ideal feminine wife. What kind of half-Aisan male children will she give birth to?

* * *

Up to page 24. Elliot is in the fifth grade. At this point in the autobiography, I am pretty confident that Elliot did NOT have Asperger’s Syndrome. Elliot had friends in elementary school, and he also had a pretty good understanding of the social status of elementary school, who was cool and who was not, and spent a lot of effort in trying to be more cool. Kids who truly have Asperger’s Syndrome don’t understand that stuff at all. Just because a kid is shy, physically small, and prone to anxiety, does NOT mean that he has Asperger’s Syndrome.

* * *

Page 47. Elliot is now a freshman at a boys Catholic school where he is bulled by the other boys who are bigger and stronger than him, and he has no friends:

I drowned all of my misery in my online games. World of Warcraft was the only thing I had left to live for. My grades at Crespi dropped dramatically. I just didn’t care anymore. I hated that school. I didn’t think about my future. The only thing I gave any serious thought to was my WoW character. I had become very powerful in the game, and I was in one of the best guilds. With this guild, I participated in lots of five-hour raid events to collect better gear and armor for my character.

* * *

It’s certainly a long autobiography. He must have spent a lot of time on it. I’m still trying to figure out his IQ. He’s no genius because he only got a B in his one class at a junior college, but he was smart enough to write a 141-page autobiography which has the consistent theme of explaining how he wound up the way he was, which is beyond the ability of someone with only average IQ. I peg his IQ between 115 and 120, smart enough to graduate from a real 4-year college in 4 years if he had the right direction and motivation, but his parents obviously held him back because they falsely believed he had Asperger’s Syndrome or something like that.

* * *

On page 87, he’s starting to sound a little big mashugana:

When they left the store I followed them to their car and splashed my coffee all over them. The boy yelled at me and I quickly ran away in fear. I was panicking as I got into my car and drove off, shaking with rage-fueled excitement. I drove all the way to the Vons at the Fairview Plaza and spent three hours in my car trying to contain my tumultuous emotions. I had never struck back at my enemies before, and I felt a small sense of spiteful gratification for doing so. I hated them so much. Even though I splashed them with my coffee, he was still the winner. He was going home to have passionate heavenly sex with his beautiful girlfriend, and I was going home to my lonely room to sleep alone in my lonely bed. I had never felt so miserable and mistreated in my life. I cursed the world for condemning me to such suffering.

I wanted to do horrible things to that couple. I wanted to inflict pain on all young couples. It was around this point in my life that I realized I was capable of doing such things. I would happily do such things. I was capable of killing them, and I wanted to. I wanted to kill them slowly, to strip the skins off their flesh. They deserve it. The males deserve it for taking the females away from me, and the females deserve it for choosing those males instead of me.

This is a pretty good read. You get a view of his life as he slowly sinks into rage and lunacy.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 24, 2014 at 9:36 PM

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