Lion of the Blogosphere

Game in St. Elmo’s Fire, part 2 (the betas and oneitis)

See the previous post: Game in St. Elmo’s Fire, part 1 (the alphas)

As explained in the previous post, Andrew McCarthy and Emilio Estevez play beta-male characters (Kevin and Kirby). Both of these characters suffer from what “game” experts call “oneitis.” Now I’m not a game expert, but I will try to explain the movie from the “game” point of view.

As explained at a site called “The Alpha Lounge”:

Oneitis is the term used to describe a condition where a man becomes infatuated and obsessed with one single female. He is so hung up on her that he spends each and every day thinking about her and what she is doing. He will do anything and everything to be with or around her whenever he can. Oneitis can be extremely dangerous to a man’s mental health. He will pass up on girls who come his way waiting for this one “extra special” girl. The thing that make oneitis so sad is the self sabotage that will take place from spending so much mental energy trying to get “the one”. Usually oneitis is pretty one sided. Typically the girl does not want anything to do with the man who is pursuing her in a romantic sense. And this makes it pretty hard on the guy when all of his efforts of ‘wooing’ this particular female go unnoticed and result in failure time and time again.

Some other sites compare oneitis to a disease or mental disorder, and the cure is often said to be FTOW which stands for “fuck ten other women.” (“Game” sites often use vulgar language to make their point.) It does seem logical that after having sex with ten women, the psychological result would be that (1) no single woman seems special after that; and (2) the man has the confidence that he can have sex with number 11 or number 12 if he wanted to so is far less likely to feel dependent or needy with a single woman.

The “cure” however brings with it the sadness that the woman who the man eventually marries will also never seem special to him. I suspect that marriages were a lot happier back in the day when both the man and the woman were virgins on their wedding day. A Vietnamese girl who never had sex with anyone besides her husband said that her husband was very good at sex. One suspects that if she had the experience of sex with an alpha bad-boy like Rob Lowe, then she might have gone through the rest of her life not thinking that sex with her husband was great, which is very sad: which is why I view Rob Lowe’s deflowering of Mare Winningham at the end of the movie as a very unfortunate thing for her character. Thus I am genuinely happy for the Vietnamese girl who was so satisfied with here beta-male provider husband (whom I never met).

The other problem with the “cure” is that the reason why betas are beta in the first place and thus susceptible to oneitis is because they don’t have the opportunity to have sex with women. So the “cure” is a Catch 22 situation.

The Andrew McCarthy storyline

McCarthy’s character is cynical about the world, and he uses a lot on self-deprecating humor, both beta traits. Alphas are optimistic and rarely use self-deprecating humor. Judd Nelson’s character is way too full of himself to ever say anything self-deprecating.

Andrew McCarthy has oneitis for Ally Sheedy and because of that he doesn’t have sex with other women. At least that’s what he tells himself. We don’t see in the movie that he has any opportunity to have sex with women except for a black prostitute who thinks he’s gay because she never sees him with a girlfriend. Demi Moore thinks he’s gay because he “never made a pass at her,” although possibly the reason that never happened is simply because he was too shy.

Remember that back in the 1980s, it was a big insult for a straight man to be thought of as gay. This was before the 2001 French movie Le Placard in which the main character, a divorced heterosexual man pretends to be gay so his company won’t fire him, and his whole life becomes a lot better after people start thinking he’s gay. Women who ignored him when he was straight now want to be his friend. His estranged son suddenly starts thinking he’s cool. Even though, at the end of the movie, he comes out of the closet as being straight, he retains his improved social status because the experience of being respected as a gay man gave him a lot of self confidence which he lacked before.

The other characters in the movie give McCarthy solid advice to have sex with women (the same advice that Roissy would no doubt give him), but he is unable to follow the advice.


The movie shows that even the best possible out come from McCarthy’s oneitis is still not a very good outcome. Yes, McCarthy got to have one night of sex with Ally Sheedy. After Judd Nelson (who has the very opposite of oneitis) throws a temper trantrum and tells Sheedy to get out of the apartment after she brings up the fact that he has been cheating on her (what an asshole! But women prefer asshole alphas to betas) she goes home with her friend McCarthy and it leads to sex. Very awkward looking sex at first, until they break the shower door. The vidcap above is from right after the shower door breaks. Which was a genuine accident in filming and not the original intent of the scene, but it worked.

(I really liked how the sex scene started out awkward. Being that McCarthy is an inexperienced beta male, it’s more realistic than it starting out perfectly hot and steamy.)

After the one night of sex, McCarthy now thinks they can finally be in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. But it turns out that Ally Sheedy viewed the sex as just a way to “break away from Alec” and she puts him right back into the friend zone. In response to McCarthy’s needy behavior, Sheedy says “I just wish everything could be like it used to be. All of us friends” And no doubt it was meant sincerely, but without any regard for how it felt for McCarthy to be friends with her for years while watching her reward Judd Nelson, the serial cheater, instead of McCarthy who deserved her affections for being a nice guy. So McCarthy says with exasperation, “I don’t want to be friends.” Of course that really annoys the hell out of Sheedy. Oops. Get lost McCarthy. “I would really like it if you would just leave. OK?”

I felt really bad for McCarthy, but I suspect that most women watching the scene would think he deserved what he got for feeling “entitled” or something like that. As the blogger “Whiskey” would say, women hate, hate, hate beta males.

* * *

There will be a future post analyzing the Emilio Estevez storyline if I don’t get bored with this topic.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

January 10, 2016 at 2:20 pm

35 Responses

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  1. “As the blogger “Whiskey” would say, women hate, hate, hate beta males.”

    The most profound sentence that ever was or ever will be written in Game.


    January 10, 2016 at 2:38 pm

  2. ” if I don’t get bored with this topic.”

    I hope you don’t. This is some of your best stuff.


    January 10, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    • I agree that the Lion is pretty perceptive on this sort of thing. He was the only person on the entire internet whose writings on Elliott Rodger were reasonable.

      Jokah Macpherson

      January 10, 2016 at 10:23 pm

  3. This is a perceptive post but too modest. You were one of the first alt-righters to link to Heartiste back in the day and really helped shape his audience.


    January 10, 2016 at 2:42 pm

  4. Remember that back in the 1980s, it was a big insult for a straight man to be thought of as gay.

    From my pre-teen years through, heck, even today, you better be ready to fight if you called another mane a “fag.”

    “I don’t want to be friends.”

    I once broke up with a long-term girlfriend by telling her, “let’s just be friends.” She responded, “no thanks, I’ve got enough male friends!” Hhhmmm???

    E. Rekshun

    January 10, 2016 at 2:46 pm

  5. Modern society pathologizes normal human biology, which is to be come attached early and permanently to one partner. I’m sure in the old days a lot of people didn’t get married to their first or even second choice, but at least the situation wasn’t aggravated by years of non-marital sex and attachment.


    January 10, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    • “Normal human biology prompted me to attach myself early and permanently to one partner, who wasn’t my first or even second choice.” Sounds legit.


      January 10, 2016 at 4:49 pm

  6. I suspect that marriages were a lot happier back in the day when both the man and the woman were virgins on their wedding day.

    All I can tell you is that my wife and I were virgins and we basically have the happiest family life of anyone I know.


    January 10, 2016 at 5:06 pm

  7. I was watching the wildcard playoff game today but during the commercials I would flip to “Weekend at Bernies.” Andrew McCarthy was great in this and I guess he was more of an alpha in this flick.

    Couple of things, there were a few trannie jokes that would not be allowed today and the ocean-front houses that were depicted in the Hamptons were nice, but they probably do not exist today as they probably have been demolished and replaced with monster mega-mansions. And French cut bikini bottoms from the 80’s-90’s are sexier than present day swimwear/fashion.

    This movie could provide you plenty of material.


    January 10, 2016 at 5:22 pm

  8. “if I don’t get bored” – I normally can’t stand this game stuff (and agree with your attachment-based analysis), but is that an attempt at Alpha behaviour there, Lion?


    January 10, 2016 at 6:53 pm

  9. I don’t understand this oneitis thing. Throughout human history hasn’t this been considered FALLING IN LOVE?

    I guess Lancelot had oneitus for Guinevere.

    slithy toves

    January 10, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    • Oneitis means loving someone you can’t have.

      Lancelot’s oneitis caused a civil war that destroyed the kingdom. An excellent example of why oneitis is so bad.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      January 10, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      • Oneitis also means loving someone who used to love you but dumped you.

        The “go get other women” cure for oneitis is a fine theory. The problem is that the kind of guy who has oneitis is convinced, in his mind, that he cannot get other women. A self-fulfilling prophecy! He is also needy, clingy, unconfident, supplicating — all the things women despise.

        If he could easily FTOW then he wouldn’t have suffered from oneitis in the first place.


        January 10, 2016 at 8:59 pm

      • Oneitis is mainly a Beta male thing, but I would imagine that chix sometimes get it too.



        January 10, 2016 at 10:38 pm

      • Gatsby seems a contradiction. An alpha businessman with oneitis.


        January 11, 2016 at 11:39 am

    • Well since Lancelot is now black, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have oneitus any more.


      January 11, 2016 at 9:17 am

      • Lol! The only black man in England in the 1500s!

        E. Rekshun

        January 11, 2016 at 10:40 am

  10. The point I guess is that Andrew McCarthy’s character could have spent his time more productively than pining away for Ally Sheedy while being her and Judd Nelson’s 3rd wheel. Maybe his character wasn’t necessarily cut out for smooth cold approaches like Rob Lowe’s character but there are other more indirect ways to meet new girls that might actually like him.

    Jokah Macpherson

    January 10, 2016 at 10:19 pm

  11. Really enjoying these reviews Lion, your droll observations are a delight. Please do proceed to review the Estevez storyline. I agree with your initial cast review comments that in reality his behaviour towards McDowell would not have been well received. It made me think that the screen writer obviously had a similar crush on a girl and imagined that is what would have happened if he’d had the courage to pursue her. When in reality, as you say, a restraining order would be the more likely outcome.

    A particularly bizarre instance of an 80’s screenwriter misjudging real world female behaviour was in Revenge of the Nerds. Towards the end of the movie a girl is with her jock boyfriend who is wearing a mask. The nerd then slips on the mask and sleeps with the girlfriend (who mistakenly believes its her boyfriend). When the girlfriend realises it was in fact the nerd, rather than call the police, she in fact falls in love with the nerd because he was such a stallion.

    Another example is where the nerd played by Michael Anthony Hall ends up sleeping with a drunken popular girl (who was the gf of the guy Molly Ringwald has a crush on). Upon confirming that they “did it”, she then indicates that she enjoyed it and the movie suggests they’ll continue to go out.


    January 10, 2016 at 10:20 pm

    • It’s Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles.


      January 11, 2016 at 6:32 pm

  12. “There will be a future post analyzing the Emilio Estevez storyline if I don’t get bored with this topic.”

    This was definitely the weirdest part of the movie. It certainly wasn’t even remotely realistic. I kept thinking it must be some kind of non sequitur comic relief.

    Jokah Macpherson

    January 10, 2016 at 10:22 pm

  13. “I suspect that marriages were a lot happier back in the day when both the man and the woman were virgins on their wedding day.”

    There were studies done in Britain on the topic in the 1950s. (See how much easier it can all be when you actually, y’know, read?) Turns out that the people who’d had premarital sex, and more than one sexual partner, reported much more sexual satisfaction than those who were virgins until they got married: Sure, a lot of that is the correlation in that the former had higher sex drives to start with but, for realz man, reading solves a lot of problems:

    Also, when was this “back in the day”


    January 10, 2016 at 10:59 pm

  14. Do a review of the 1987 action movie, Wanted: Dead or Alive, starring Rutger Hauer and Gene Simmons (of KISS).


    January 10, 2016 at 11:42 pm

  15. You might also consider the parallels in this 1982 film:


    January 10, 2016 at 11:50 pm

  16. “Yes, McCarthy got to have one night of sex with Ally Sheedy.”

    the most unrealistic part of the whole movie. he tells her he loves her and so she sleeps with him? even if it is a revenge fuck to get back at judd nelson, she would have chosen alpha musician rob lowe, not pedestelizing andrew mccarthy.


    January 11, 2016 at 1:27 am

    • Indeed. She’d spend the whole night with McCarthy whining and crying about what a pig Nelson was, but she wouldn’t have sex with McCarthy (“ewww, we’re just friends!”) — nor would McCarthy put a move on her.


      January 11, 2016 at 11:27 am

      • That would have made a boring movie if they didn’t have sex.

        And it’s realistic in the sense that Sheedy wasn’t totally out of McCarthy’s league. She was the average girl-next-door looking girl and not the hot babe like Demi Moore.

        Average looking intelligent beta guys wind up marrying girls like Ally Sheedy all the time in the real world. Even more so in the 1980s when there was less of a breakdown of traditional moral values as there is today.

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        January 11, 2016 at 12:09 pm

      • Plenty of people had sex in that movie.

        Breakfast Club had it right. Alpha Judd Nelson had sex, lesser alpha Emilio Estevez had sex, and beta schlub Anthony Michael Hall was sent off to write everyone’s papers for them.


        January 11, 2016 at 1:07 pm

  17. Pearls in the shower is pretty damn hot.


    January 11, 2016 at 9:18 am

    • Enough with the Sheedy love. You guys have pathetic tastes. There is nothing remotely “hot” about Aly Sheedy.

      Otis the Sweaty

      January 11, 2016 at 9:53 am

      • She looked like above average in the Breakfast Club, when she dressed up like a maid with makeup.


        January 11, 2016 at 1:52 pm

  18. Lion – It’s RIP for Mr. Bowie Stardust:


    January 11, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    • And he died in Manhattan. More status signaling!!!!


      January 11, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    • I wonder if a lifetime of coke, booze, whores and man-on-man sex had anything to do with his cancer. I guess it’ll be a while before that questions is known for sure. He’s about Trump and Romney’s age??


      January 11, 2016 at 9:32 pm

  19. People who aren’t, or weren’t, prone to oneitis don’t really understand it. First, if you have oneitis, you don’t want any other girl than the object of your oneitis, so regardless of whether you think you can have sex with ten other women or not, that advice seems pointless to you. Second, oneitis isn’t based on sexual attraction. This is what I think some people find hard to understand. After the Elliot Rodger incident, some people kept assuming he was gay, partially because for all he talked about sex, he never said anything explicit about it. He didn’t give the impression he wanted to bend a girl over and bang her brains out; it seemed more like he wanted to walk hand in hand down the beach at sunset while licking ice cream cones. But, as the commenter YaReally at Roissy’s did a good job of explaining, when you’re a young, shy, sexually inexperienced guy, that really is how you tend to view relationships. You’re sexually attracted to the object of your oneitis, but more than that, you have saccharine romantic emotions toward her. Your ultimate fantasy is not screwing her, it’s sitting cuddled up on the couch watching a movie. This holds true even while you’re sexually fantasizing about other girls at school or wherever. There’s a big madonna-whore dichotomy there.


    January 11, 2016 at 11:03 pm

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