How I discovered the reason for ketchup
Until recently, I thought ketchup was useless except as something to dip French fries into. But when faced with a rather unpleasant turkey meatloaf, I remembered that Donald Trump likes to put ketchup on his food, so I thought I would give it a try. And amazingly, the ketchup turned the unpleasant turkey meatloaf into something enjoyable!
Thus did I discover the reason for ketchup. As a condiment that overpowers the flavors of food, it will absolutely ruin high quality Manhattan food. (And that even applies to Manhattan-quality hamburgers, you don’t want to ruin them with ketchup.) But when faced with crappy prole food, which is what the majority of America eats, ketchup works wonders.