Lion of the Blogosphere

Overwatch update

Once your Skill Rank declines below 500, they stop telling you how low it has gotten.

How can I be so bad at this game?

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 16, 2017 at 11:04 pm

Posted in Nerdy stuff

38 Responses

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  1. Maybe you should hire a hot girl to improve your score?


    May 16, 2017 at 11:09 pm

  2. You should try StarCraft.

    It still requires twitch skills but it also has room for a bit more strategy than an FPS.

    Steve Johnson

    May 16, 2017 at 11:10 pm

  3. Play Heroes of the Storm. It just got a massive update and relies more toward tactics than only on lightning reflexes.


    May 16, 2017 at 11:14 pm

  4. A digital card game might be better if your reflexes are bad. There are lots of good ones now.

    Big Blue Dog

    May 16, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    • Hearthstone is pay-to-win. What else is there?

      • Only to a point. All the competitive players have all the important cards, and are on equal footing with each other.

        Rogal Dorn

        May 17, 2017 at 9:55 am

      • I’d have to spend several hundred dollars on cards to get enough cards to compete, and then I’d still lose. At least I can lose in Overwatch for free (given that the $40 already paid for it is a sunk cost).

      • Shadowverse, but I’ve never played it.

        Hearthstone made sense three years ago. Blizzard’s gotten super greedy and now it’s virtually impossible to remain competitive at the game w/o shelling out some cash.


        May 17, 2017 at 11:21 am

      • Faeria is pretty fair and it uses a board that you build, making it way more strategic than HS. Also the RNG is extremely limited. Duelyst also has a board and their model also seems decent. Shadowverse is a Japanese game that is very close to HS in mechanics but is extremely generous, you get like 40 packs for starting and they constantly give them away. But if you hate anime art, you won’t like it. Gwent is newer and very different but it seems solid. You have to play it, the mechanics are too strange to write out in detail in this post.

        HS has by far the most greedy model. Once you learn that Steam takes 30% of earnings and Blizzard has their own client so they get to keep that 30%, the greed seems out of control. But they are Blizzard, so they can get away with it I guess.

        Big Blue Dog

        May 17, 2017 at 5:07 pm

  5. You still keep on playing this game, though!


    May 17, 2017 at 12:16 am

  6. Learn to aim. Learn what all the characters do. Learn who counters whom. Learn what is, and isn’t, a reasonable team composition. Use your mic. If you don’t have one, get one. Don’t stagger; get your team to group up. Watch other streamers on Twitch and ask the people in chat why the streamer does what he does. Tell other people that your SR is under 500; the people giving you advice need to know that your teammates will also not always see the value of teaming up. Build your ult. Spamming the enemy Reinhardt’s shield won’t build your ult. Unless you’re Mercy or Ana, healing teammates won’t build your ult very fast at all. Don’t feed ult charge to the enemy team (say, with constant junkrat spam). Track your opponents’ ults. Organize ult combos with your teammates. Use all your brain, not just the hindbrain. Communicate your needs to your teammates. If your team is losing, consider switching and/or getting your teammates to switch. Don’t tilt (get unnerved) if you think you’re losing. You can get stonewalled and still stonewall your opponents harder. Conversely, you can get rolled while playing defense and then roll them harder when it’s your turn to push the payload. Help your saltier teammates to not tilt. Don’t dive alone or you’ll die alone. Keep track of who’s alive and who’s dead and who’s around you. Press a numerical advantage and hang back if you’re down a man or three. At lower SRs, Pharah is everyone’s responsibility, not just Soldier 76’s (his aim probably sucks if his SR is anywhere near yours). Shoot the German-speaking healer first. Watch videos on YouTube that explain the pros and cons of different heroes. Keep an eye on the patch notes so you aren’t blindsided by changes in the meta[game]. Don’t pick Hanzo.

    Good luck!

    Stationary Feast

    May 17, 2017 at 1:01 am

    • That sounds like a lot of work.

      Dave Pinsen

      May 17, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      • It does when you’re trying to acquire a laundry list of good mental habits.

        Actually, you’re right: it is a lot of work.

        Stationary Feast

        May 17, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    • I’d like to double down on “learn to aim“. I adjusted my sensitivity downwards and did some basic clicking-on-heads practice following the instructions on that video and got a nice SR boost.

      Stationary Feast

      May 17, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    • I thought this post was about the metasociology of playing Overwatch. I didn’t realize it was about actually literally playing Overwatch.

      Fact Checker

      May 17, 2017 at 10:34 pm

  7. Nobody plays 1st person shooters anymore? I find those games satisfying.


    May 17, 2017 at 1:42 am

  8. Depressing. Reaction time is a bitch.

    JW Bell

    May 17, 2017 at 2:28 am

  9. Why did you quit Hearthstone? I’m bad at shooter games, but I’ve done well at Hearthstone.

    Rogal Dorn

    May 17, 2017 at 5:08 am

  10. “How can I be so bad at this game?”

    You’re not a 24 year old Asian nerd.


    May 17, 2017 at 8:11 am

    • He actually has a job again. It not only explains his poor Overwatch score, but also the decline in this blog. Oh well, all good things come to an end.


      May 17, 2017 at 11:22 am

    • At a Chinese restaurant?


      May 17, 2017 at 10:59 pm

  11. How are you at chess?


    May 17, 2017 at 9:58 am

    • Not so good.

      • Nor am I. IQ doesn’t seem to help with chess ability, except memory is very useful as you get more into it. But you can go to and try to improve using their tactics trainer at Learn > Tactics Trainer. You can also play against a computer at any of ten different difficulty levels. And it is free.


        May 17, 2017 at 8:12 pm

  12. Program your computer to play for you. I know nothing about online gaming. Are there programs out there that play for you?

    May 17, 2017 at 10:23 am

  13. Pure reflex games would be unworthy of a man of your intelligence even if you were still in your teens or early 20’s. Play a game with a serious strategy element if you are going to play games.


    May 17, 2017 at 2:39 pm

  14. I don’t understand what’s happenng with Trump. Scott Adams is extremely bearish. He thinks Trump gona be empeached for the fist time and out of pure character assassination by the media and leakers. Is it possible ? (It : such storm could be about nothing and empeachment maybe the end ot the experience of electing a populist presidentp). I didn’t like Trump at the beginning but I thought he was doing fine.

    Bruno from Paris

    May 17, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    • He hasn’t done anything that would be illegal had Obama or even Bush done it, but the hatred towards Trump by the establishment is so intense that it’s entirely plausible he will be impeached and/or railroaded by hostile investigators. People who feel he’s safe because of this or that legal principle are very naive. That’s not what this is about. Just look at the travel ban rulings; it’s basically been admitted that had Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama drafted the order, the judges would have found it legal. But because Trump did it, it’s not — they’ll come up with the reasons to fit the case.


      May 17, 2017 at 8:07 pm

  15. It must be hard to be in the bottom 2% with less than 500. I’d like to give it a try. Sometimes, it is good to see there are stuff one can’t do anymore with age or one was never able to do in the first place. Median score is 2700. Top 10% are at 3700. Top 1% is 4350. To be in the top 500 players, you need 4460. Top 100 are above 4600. Only 14 players are > 4700, but the best one is almost 4800. It seems very steep and challenging just from the data :-).

    Bruno from Paris

    May 17, 2017 at 4:34 pm

  16. OT but Representative Amash (Palestinian and Syrian descent) and Representative Curbelo (Hispanic) are the only two Republicans who have called for possible impeachment proceedings for Trump.

    Coincidence? I doubt it…And the identity politics continues. The GOP will be virtually all white and the Dems virtually all non-white within the next 10 years. Then Civil War ensues.


    May 17, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    • About time. Nothing can fix stuff up like a good war. Taking out the trash…


      May 17, 2017 at 11:00 pm

  17. So what do we think about the official investigator? The idiots on NeoGaf are celebrating but the Dems on Capitol Hill don’t seem very enthusiastic.

    Politico is saying that the Trump admin was blindsided but who knows if they are telling the truth or not.

    Otis the Sweaty

    May 17, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    • Everyone is praising him as a straight shooter who proved his nonpartisanship by serving as FBI Director under both George W. Bush and Barack Obama (who reappointed him), but that’s less impressive when you remember that:

      (a) except for Bob Dole, every Republican president and nominee since 1988 endorsed (implicitly or explicitly) Hillary Clinton for president last year. Based on his associations, it’s highly likely that Mueller hates Trump and wishes he was not in office.

      (b) his appeal to both establishment Republicans and Democrats shows he’s an experienced court functionary who doesn’t take stances that offend the powers that be. Absolving Trump would offend everyone in Washington except a few people in Trump’s staff.

      Because this is ultimately about Trump, not a witless underling like Flynn, I predict Mueller’s investigation will end up focusing on Trump’s business dealings. Were I in Mueller’s place and wanted Trump gone I would be very interested in Trump’s dealings with Russian financial firms during his corporate life, and a special investigator has the power to expand his scrutiny into areas of related interest. Trump’s refusal to release his tax returns suggests there’s something in there he doesn’t want known, and let’s face it, vulgar boorish gaudy Trump is entirely capable of getting into something that is technically legal but sure looks shady (“conflict of interest!”) and in this environment, where the media spins everything about Trump into its most negative form, that will be all it takes. The legal technicalities Trump could rely on as a business executive don’t matter at this level. Impeachment is a political act.


      May 18, 2017 at 10:35 am

  18. Google seems to have gotten a little less politically correct. Today’s Doodle features the Antikythera Mechanism, a stunning achievement made by some chalk-faced, marshmallow-muscled, tiny-d*cked Ice People. Though perhaps the Greeks’ predilection for man-on-man action wins them some P.C. points.



    May 17, 2017 at 11:30 pm

  19. Why don’t you just play “quick play” and stop worrying about rank?


    May 18, 2017 at 12:27 pm

  20. Games are just too stupid a total waste of time. An intelligent and creative person can’t focus his mind on this nonsense for too long. This is very simple. Go to the gym already. You gonna feel a million times better and have real fun. Check out this book ‘The Swing!: Lose the Fat and Get Fit with This Revolutionary Kettlebell Program’.

    This is something to strive for, mate. If I were you, I would just lock up the computer and throw the keys away. It’s poison.

    Tracy is excellent, she’s got a really good diet in that book as well.


    May 19, 2017 at 6:37 am

  21. I’m 35 and I have a ranking of ~2500. Your age is not the problem here.


    May 20, 2017 at 9:52 am

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