Lion of the Blogosphere

Riverdale

I thoroughly enjoyed the first season, and there’s a second season starting in October, I can hardly wait. This is a nearly spoiler-free review. I can’t help but drop a few hints about things that happen in episodes later in the season, however nothing major has been given away.

Riverdale is like a cross between Pretty Little Liars and Twin Peaks.

The series is based loosely on Archie comics, however it’s not based on the comics from the 1950s, or the really bad Saturday morning cartoon from the late 1960s (do they still have Saturday morning cartoons?), but rather it’s based on a re-imagined modern comic book series.

In practicality, all this means is that the main characters have iconic names like Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead. It was also great when the town’s all-girl band, Josie and the Pussycats (reimagined as being three black girls) performed a hip-hop influenced version of Sugar Sugar.

And above we have Archie and Veronica performing that great hit from 1980, “Kids in America,” and if you watch the video you will catch a glimpse of Molly Ringwald! The actress famous for playing a teenager in 1980s movies is now playing the mother of a teenager. Plus I already mentioned that Luke Perry plays Archie’s father. These homages to the past are so incredibly cool, but sadly they go right over the heads of today’s teenagers who are watching the show.

They never tell you where Riverdale is, but I assume it’s in upstate New York. Maple syrup is the town’s number one industry, and it’s mentioned that it’s close to Montreal, and there’s always snow on the ground during the winter, so all signs point to upstate New York.

But now, let’s get to the bad news. In order to enjoy this show, you’re going to have to deal with some extreme political correctness indoctrination.

One of the characters in the show is an openly gay kid, and you have to put up with a lot of gay making out and kissing. I know, gross! The interesting thing is how no one is ever allowed to say anything negative to him about him being gay. You’d think that in a show where you have football jocks being assholes, someone would at least call the kid a “fag,” but that never happens. The kid’s father, the town’s sheriff, and an incredibly bad sheriff at that, is fully supportive of his son’s gayness.

And while the gay kid is a presence in every episode, his purpose is just to be the gay kid, and unlike every other major character, he has no character development, and barely much of an arc, he’s just a gay accessory because someone decided the show needed to have a gay kid for some reason.

Although the town is almost entirely white (which is normal for a small town in upstate New York), mysteriously the mayor, the high school principal, and the high school football coach are all black. So three of the town’s five most important people are black. The two whites at the top of the town hierarchy are the sheriff who ineptly runs a one-man police department, and Cliff Blossom who is the richest man in the town and also a creep who’s up to no good.

Josie, of Josie and the Pussycats, dresses down Archie for having white privilege, and only after Archie admits his white privilege to Josie is he allowed to have an audience with her. But considering that Josie’s mother is the mayor, and her father is a famous musician, it’s hard to see how she is less privileged than Archie whose non-college-graduate father runs a small-time construction company on the verge of bankruptcy. Josie, and her fellow pussycat Valerie, both act like stuck-up bitches most of the time. (The third Pussycat, Melody, doesn’t get much screen time at all so I am unable to judge her. But I miss the ditzy blonde Melody from the old Saturday morning cartoon.)

The only Asian in town is a tall buffed up football player who is Archie’s main rival on the football team. Well, there have been enough portrayals of Asian men as sexless nerds, I guess the Asians are entitled to finally have one of their guys playing the town hunk.

The criminal element in town is an all-white gang called “The Serpents.” They wear biker jackets, but are never actually seen riding motorcycles.

Veronica is played by a Latina actress. She’s a coconut. Brown on the outside, but 100% white on the inside. Veronica is the hot sexy sophisticated girl from the city, while Betty is the small-town girl next door. Who is prettier? Ginger or Mary Ann?

I have my usual complaints about how the kids are supposed to be sophomores in high school, but everyone looks old enough to at least be in college, if not old enough to be a college graduate. And why can’t they hire a real lawyer to consult on the show so that characters playing lawyers don’t make statements about the law which are completely incorrect? And hasn’t anyone heard of the felony murder rule?

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

September 18, 2017 at 10:51 pm

38 Responses

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  1. OK I’m glad you said it first, but I liked this show too. I started watching it as a curiosity factor, because I liked the old Saturday morning Archie cartoons, and was curious as to how they would update them, and that was pretty mind blowing.

    So I kept watching, each episode thinking, “eh, this will probably be the last one I watch…”

    But I kept watching.

    I didn’t even care about the season long murder mystery. I didn’t even care who the killer was, I was just fascinated by these weirdly re imagined characters. If Sabrina shows up next season, how will they handle her? As a real, magical being, or a crazed goth girl? Or a mix? On this show, it could go either way.

    Mike Street Station

    September 18, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    • I’m tempted to check it out based on Lion’s and Mike’s recommendation, but good lord it sounds awful based on their descriptions.

      I’m currently working through “Blue Bloods” on Netflix, which I recommend. It’s a classic cop show, based in NYC, with an often anti-PC pro-cop view.

      steve@steve.com

      September 19, 2017 at 8:42 am

      • Some things can be awful and watchable.

        Mike Street Station

        September 19, 2017 at 10:18 am

      • For cop shows I’d recommend “Southland,” on Hulu. The only one I’ve ever seen that portrays the demographics of crime halfway accurately (and without sympathizing with the criminals, like “The Wire”).

        snorlaxwp

        September 19, 2017 at 9:51 pm

  2. Lion, please talk about Sean Spicer’s appearance at the Emmy’s, where he posed with celebrities that obviously hated his guts and wanted him dead while he beamed a shiteating smile. Even Darnell fucking your wife while you watch isn’t up to this level of cuckery. It’s truly an astonishing sight to behold. I wrote an analysis about it here:

    https://nationalistperspective.wordpress.com/2017/09/19/stomach-churning-cuck-sean-spicer-poses-w-libs-who-hate-him-emmys/

    The daily mail article is here:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4895158/Sean-Spicer-poses-celebs-Emmy-parties.html

    nationalistperspective

    September 18, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    • Keep in mind that liberals were every bit as pissed about it.

      I’m not mad at Spicer at all, who is just a moron. I am loving the fact that DKos, NeoGaf and Vox are triggered about it, though.

      Otis the Sweaty

      September 19, 2017 at 12:14 am

    • All the liberals are angry about it, they seem it as normalizing him. They’re worried that no one working for Trump will suffer social repercussions after his presidency is over.

      Richard

      September 19, 2017 at 12:20 am

    • And all the while–even though it was of course a cucky thing for Spicer to do–My social media feeds are blowing up with SJW outrage over this, because they think anyone who’s been associated with Trump should be blacklisted from polite society. The NYT even ran an op-ed by Frank Bruni arguing this yesterday.

      Hermes

      September 19, 2017 at 6:35 am

  3. How did you manage to thoroughly enjoy this show, given all the SJWism you’ve described?

    Hermes

    September 18, 2017 at 11:08 pm

  4. If you just finished Riverdale then you’re probably looking for something else to watch. I’m in the middle of the first season of 13 Reasons Why and all I can say is “wow”. Powerful, interesting series about a high school girl who commits suicide. I’m usually not into teen angst drama crap. But this one really pulled me in. Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 86%.

    destructure

    September 18, 2017 at 11:17 pm

  5. I just binge watch the whole season of most weekly tv shows on netflix or amazon I can quit watching whenever I want and have no anticipatory thoughts about the next show Turning off the gay episodes is half the fun, similar to turning off sports events when the players disrespect the country. I’ve saved oodles of time and am mentally healthier.

    cesqy

    September 18, 2017 at 11:25 pm

  6. It is amazing you can watch this stuff. If I watched it I’d feel like I was sitting still and silent while people insulted me to my face, like at a Red Chinese struggle session. Are you addicted to TV or something?

    Gozo

    September 18, 2017 at 11:56 pm

    • I’ve determined way, way back in the USSR that television is for idiots. The smart guys work out like animals and read books. Even more true in this country.

      Yakov

      September 19, 2017 at 9:20 am

      • Russian television was surely quite a bit inferior to modern serialized dramas. If the only thing to watch on TV was stuff from the 1980s, I too would mostly read books.

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        September 19, 2017 at 9:26 am

  7. Sugar Sugar is a transcendentally brilliant bubblegum pop confection and that cover sucks. This french version is much better:

    Magnavox

    September 19, 2017 at 12:37 am

    • This tops all:

      njguy73

      September 19, 2017 at 8:34 am

      • gotta go with The Archies on this one:

        Andrew E.

        September 19, 2017 at 9:37 am

      • The original archies version is definitely the best.

        Magnavox

        September 19, 2017 at 5:52 pm

  8. OT apropos of your old theme that marathons kill — triathlons do, too:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4897146/Risk-death-triathlon-higher-thought.html

    Tarl

    September 19, 2017 at 1:28 am

    • Boxing kills, weightlifting kills, wrestling kills….. A life has to be worth living, you know.

      Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I hope to run a marathon someday soon.

      Yakov

      September 19, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      • Somehow I feel like my life will still be worth living if I don’t spend hours putting one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles…

        Tarl

        September 20, 2017 at 4:36 pm

  9. On topic, as a kid I always thought Archie was a lame comic.

    Tarl

    September 19, 2017 at 1:29 am

  10. It’s the babes, Hermes. Turn off the sound.

    bob sykes

    September 19, 2017 at 6:56 am

  11. I won’t reward politically correct indoctrination and you shouldn’t either.

    Jack

    September 19, 2017 at 9:59 am

    • You can download the episodes from Pirates Bay, thus ensuring that the creators don’t make any money from it.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      September 19, 2017 at 1:26 pm

  12. The vocalists are weak.

    jz

    September 19, 2017 at 2:53 pm

  13. When do you guys have time to watch all these shows? Do you stay up until the wee hours and sleep walk the next day? Because I don’t have the time, even if I wanted to watch. Like a real American of old, I just finished working and parked my van and it’s 8:55. It’s gonna take me half hour to walk home. I’m gonna eat 1/4 lb of meat on the way, change, get to Prospect Park by 10 and run as much as I can. Come home, take a shower, watch Summo highlights of the 10th day of Aki Basho condensed into 16:30 minutes. And that’s it. Gonna read and fall asleep. Where do people have time to watch the zombie box, that’s what I wanna know?

    Say, you Lion, what time do you go to sleep and how many hours a day do you watch?

    Yakov

    September 19, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    • I don’t have a television.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      September 19, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      • Hahaha. Thanks for the info, but was that the question? Maybe it wasn’t clear, so I’m gonna repeat it for the especially gifted.

        ‘Say, you Lion, what time do you go to sleep and how many hours a day do you watch?’

        Just don’t become like Magna, Lion. I ask Magna a simple question weather he would go with HD for $6900 + tax or with me for $3,000 tax included. This is a very simple question. He starts talking about shysters and factotums, which I wouldn’t mind had he answered the question. But no, he gets all slippery. Incidentally, Magna, how many hours you spend watching and what percentage of that stuff you watch would you say is anti-semitic. Just trying to get to know you better, man.

        Yakov

        September 19, 2017 at 9:33 pm

      • Yakov all the time you spend commenting here just watch riverdale in the background.

        As for AC, I told you Yakov I installed my own AC. If I were to hire someone I would hire some cheap shyster (cheaper than you even) that I end up regretting because that’s the way my mind works.

        It’s hard for me to find stuff that’s the right level of anti semitic. Anti semites tend to take things too far. But I listen to what Richard Spencer and people on RedIce have to say on occasion. In terms of number of hours I do a lot of multitasking so there are different figures I could give.

        Magnavox

        September 19, 2017 at 10:07 pm

      • Oops, I had forgotten that you install your own AC, because you had never provided any info on the actual unit(s). So until I have that info, I don’t know what you are actually doing.

        I don’t know who Richard Spencer is, so no comment here.

        Multitasking? Could mean eating or lifting weights and watching. What does it mean? I like straight talk, as you might have noticed.

        Look, I can’t watch Sumo or boxing and comment at the same time. If you can, while watching Riverdale, it’s gotta be trash.

        You have a good night now.

        Yakov

        September 19, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    • I don’t watch any of these shows. Spend all my spare time reading. Hurts my ability to have idle chit-chat with coworkers, but oh well.

      Tarl

      September 20, 2017 at 4:25 pm

  14. Riverdale is the only nice area of the Bronx, because it’s mostly White.

    JS

    September 19, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    • Lots of famous people lived in Riverdale: Toscanini, Bartók, most of the Kennedy clan, Eliot Spitzer,…

      Anthony

      September 20, 2017 at 2:39 pm

  15. Maybe you could review The O.C. next or did I miss that? The cast is exceptionally attractive-Archie, Jug, Betty, Veronica, especially. I wouldn’t judge any person, of any age and intelligence for enjoying beautiful people interact. Oh yes, Big Little Lies also had a beautiful cast that complimented the backdrop. West coast, (Riverdale filmed in B.C.) is the best coast.

    DaddyFrank

    September 19, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    • Opinion on show This Is Us?

      DaddyFrank

      September 20, 2017 at 12:02 am


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