Lion of the Blogosphere

Should you let your 13-year-old kid use Instagram?

http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/mediate-this/sd-me-mediatethis0415-story.html

If all the other kids are using Instagram, and you want your kid to grow up normal, that is normal for your kid’s generation and not your generation, then yes you have to let them do what the other kids are doing.

I knew a guy whose mother was a Christian nut and raised him in a strict religious environment. He wasn’t allowed to watch any secular media, etc. He wound up dying from complications from drug abuse before he turned 40. You don’t want that for your kids.

Furthermore, the future could be like Super Sad True Love Story where everyone is judged by how many social media followers they have and their credit score. You want your kids to get a head start in acquiring followers.

Your kid could even acquire so many followers that he or she (but most likely she) could become an “influencer” and make a living from it!

However, if your teenage girl posts selfies on Instagram and her account is public, then yes, she’s going to get inappropriate DMs from inappropriately aged men.

* * *

Today on Instagram I received the DM “Hi” from a hot babe young enough to be my daughter’s younger sister. Using the principle that if something is too good to be true then it’s not true, I assumed it’s some kind of scam, so I tapped the “Decline” button.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

April 16, 2018 at EDT am

Posted in Technology

44 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Kids today do have it harder than prior generations. Looks like you have to start resume and network building as early 13. Not to mention the changing demographics and how one negative statement towards it, can ruin your life. Boomers and WW2 folk grew up in a much whiter America. One major source of my madness is listening to them talking about how much harder they had it.

    Total BS.

    Ronald McDonald

    April 16, 2018 at EDT am

  2. If you are raised we like minded families, you don’t see the problem. I was in a tradition catholic environnement : no tv, movies, fashion clothes, parties etc . But everyone around me was the same. It’s when I went to University that the choc was huge. I was called the Visitor. People thought I came from the Middle Ages.
    It made me an I retesting lot 🙂

    Bruno

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  3. What’s wrong with age gaps?

    After all, an older man will likely have a career, a home, savings, status and the maturity to provide for his young bride by placing assets in a trust.

    The smartest thing most young women could do is marry a beta provider a good 20 years older.

    But young women want bad boys, and parental squeamishness about their daughter dating a middle-aged man actually pushes the daughter to the bad boy.

    JA

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • I’m sympathetic to the idea that maybe an ideal society would allow 30-something (or older) men to pursue sincere marriage-minded relationships with teenage girls, but it would have to always be with the parents’ (or father’s) permission. The kind of grown men who reach out to 13-year-olds in spite of our taboos are almost always going to be bad news, quite likely worse than most of the bad boys she’s likely to meet at school.

      Wency

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • True. There is no amount of life insurance I would not promise to buy to the father of some hottie 20 years younger than me, in exchange for permission to marry her.

      Hermes

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • Because statistically it doesn’t work out. Divorce rates increase if the man is more than 10 years older than the woman.

      Apparently you guys only cite statistics and reality if it fits your narrative.

      SC

      April 22, 2018 at EDT am

  4. Growing up, I knew one family with no TV at home. I thought it was weird at the time. However, all five of the kids in that household grew up to be responsible adults, all married young, and all now have multiple children of their own. They are probably much happier than average for my generation.

    The Waldorf School serving Silicon Valley (where tuition starts at $25,200 for kindergarten) is famous for being technology-free: http://waldorfpeninsula.org/admissions/tuition/

    SQ

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • I spent a large part of my childhood in an area so remote there was no tv and little radio reception, and later on when we rejoined civilization my best friend was from a conservative christian family that forbid tv (I spent a lot of time at their house).

      The main takeaway is there are many cultural references I miss and to this day I can’t tell if many 80s songs are in fact from the 80s or contemporary, and vice versa, I sometimes think recent songs are old songs.

      The isolation from place #1 was socially damaging, in my view, but it’s really impossible to blame your faults on history; it’s like blaming the faults of your feet on your shoes.

      As for the children from that family, all are normal, happy and functioning. One is a semi famous catholic writer. And they are all avid social media users.

      toomanymice

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • All these schools that are technology free are backwards, they teach 19th century material. Amish, Montessori, Waldorf etc. Holistic approach all they claim pretty much means that they will tell you what to do and what not to do with your children at home and blame you for any unexpected outcome. They are also usually exempt from vaccination requirements, so you child has higher chance of contracting serious disease while attending these schools.

      My Two Cents

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  5. This is an impossible question that is impossible to answer, because:

    “If all the other kids are using Instagram, and you want your kid to grow up normal, that is normal for your kid’s generation and not your generation, then yes you have to let them do what the other kids are doing.”

    This is only true for things that you already think aren’t harmful-its not an argument for letting your kids do X, its an argument for letting your kids do safe forms of X. Change the subject matter:

    “If all the other kids are using heroin, and you want your kid to grow up normal, that is normal for your kids’ generation and not your generation, then yes you have to let them do what the other kid are doing.”

    See?

    In fact, letting kids do what the other kids are doing, because other kids do it, is the exact opposite of parenting.

    anon

    anon

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • If “all the other kids are doing heroin” strikes you as a true statement, then you need to move your kid to a different school and preferably a different zip code ASAP.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • Which counters your earlier argument.
        Now, granted, Instagram heroin, but excessive use of social media has been associated with depression, anxiety, etc. Not sure how valid this association is, but a reasonable parent could harbor reservations about social media use.
        So, a strict limit of 30 minutes a day would seem like reasonable compromise.

        Half Canadian

        April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • I never claimed it was a true statement. It was a hypothetical. I think that is clear in my post, so I assume you are intentionally misunderstanding me.

        anon

        anon

        April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • I wonder if social awkwardness is an evolved defense against doing stupid shit at a young age. Like if most of the teenagers around you are getting into drugs but they don’t think you’re cool enough to hang out with them, you wind up not trying drugs yourself by the sheer accident of not being in those social circles. Kind of like superstitious rituals served as a substitute for medicine which was harmful on average until the 1940’s/1950’s or so.

        I don’t think hard drugs have been around long enough, though, so this is probably completely false.

        Jokah Macpherson

        April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  6. That’s why it’s essential that you select good “other kids” for your kids, by your choice of school, church, neighborhood, etc. There are communities out there where no social media is considered normal.

    I believe we will see a bifurcation where children of higher income families are not on social media, but children of lower income families are heavy users. Especially with kids born to tech parents. We are already seeing shades of this with the ruling class sending their kids to computer-free schools.

    Regarding the hardcore Christianity/sheltered upbringing guy, I think a lot of the problems with that come from Christians applying “no sex before marriage”, which is a rule meant for girls, to their boys. They guard male chastity (which isn’t even a thing) just as hard as females, which turns the boys into losers, which then perpetuates and builds on itsself.

    That and they don’t give the kids credible alternatives to the stuff they are forbidding.

    Christians need to understand the sexual marketplace and they need to create video games where you play as Charles Martel and kill muslims in 1099 or whenever it was.

    Muslims have no problem keeping their sons Muslim because they are allowed/encouraged to rape non-Muslim girls.

    Anon

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • “That’s why it’s essential that you select good “other kids” for your kids, by your choice of school, church, neighborhood, etc. There are communities out there where no social media is considered normal.”

      True statement.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • “Muslims have no problem keeping their sons Muslim because they are allowed/encouraged to rape non-Muslim girls.”

      Yes, because some of them are 7th century barbarians.

      Rosenmops

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • Higher fertility rate than the West, and colonising Europe as we speak. The future belongs to the barbarians.

        chris

        April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • “That and they don’t give the kids credible alternatives to the stuff they are forbidding.”

      The credible alternatives used to be learning how to grow food, build shelter, and repair things. And studying religious texts, creating art within the societies values, and otherwise being part of a family and a community.

      But yeah, let’s have 1% of the population create virtual worlds for the other 99% to while away their lives in. Christians will immerse themselves in “Worlds of Crusades,” Jews will immerse themselves in “Sim Shtetl,” and Muslim will immerse themselves in “Virtual Jihad.” And humanity will obsolete itself out of existence.

      Self-actualization, indeed.

      njguy73

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • “No sex before marriage” is not terrible advice for boys if they’re in a close-knit community that will ensure they get an acceptable spouse at a reasonably young age (it doesn’t cause much harm at least), but given the modern urban dating market, it’s like training someone to cooperate in a prisoner’s dilemma against a bot that always betrays.

      Jokah Macpherson

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • Tell boys the truth. The girl could get pregnant, babytrap you, and then it’s a life sentence. Worse than an STD, some of which are curable.

        gothamette

        April 17, 2018 at EDT am

    • “Christians need to understand the sexual marketplace and they need to create video games where you play as Charles Martel and kill muslims in 1099 or whenever it was”

      The later Ottoman Turks of 15th Century and onward were the real gropers of Christian women, who also took Christian boys and turned them into Muslim warriors. And as a result, certain parts of the Balkans has been Islamic for eons, yet no White Nationalist gives a peep, because the Balkans is a dirt poor region of Europe.

      And what most of the commenters here don’t understand when it comes to Muslim immigration in Europe:

      Islamic immigration in Europe is mostly of 3 flavors: Turkey, North Africa, and Curry Muslims.

      Northern Europe is mostly where Turkish Muslims settle and Southern Europe is where North African Muslims immigrate. The Anglo Prole UK is home to mostly Indus Valley Muslims, because of colonialism. All of them aren’t keen on blacks and would never allow their lands to be occupied by them.

      JS

      April 19, 2018 at EDT am

    • Does it ever occur to you that religious conservative virgin girls don’t want to marry some disgusting man with 50 previous partners, STDs, and an illegitimate child?

      Lol you “red pill” guys are so dumb you think that you can sleep with many women and still expect a virgin with good moral values to marry you.

      My best friend is a stereotypical religious conservative virgin girl. She’s not looking for an alpha player. She’s looking for a non-promiscuous, nice, loyal, intelligent, hardworking man to be her husband.

      Just because most women want the alpha guy with 50 partners and an STD doesn’t mean all women do.

      SC

      April 22, 2018 at EDT pm

      • It’s possible that an average-looking 20-something man with good church game would win the heart of one of these virginal Christian babes.

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        April 22, 2018 at EDT pm

  7. When I was growing up I remember my father saying “it’s really important for kids to be able to do what all the other kids are doing.” My grandmother was I guess what you are calling a “Christian nut,” and her husband died young, so my father and uncle were raised by a single mother whose priority was trying to make sure they were conservative Christians. It took in my uncle and he remained conservative Christian, but my father really resented his father’s death and rebelled. But even though I was the child of a rebel, conservative religiosity began to appeal to me in my teenage years, because I was something of a social outcast and didn’t fit in with the cool kids at school, so a strong belief in traditional morality gave me an alternative outlet. Therefore, it really bothered me when I was young and heard my father say “it’s really important for kids to be able to do what all the other kids are doing.” Because I knew what he meant was “it’s really important for a parent to not care if his son grows his hair long, smokes pot, and doesn’t go to church.” But I thought of myself as a conservative nerd so I didn’t want to do those things anyway. Meanwhile, I was distressed by not being able to do things the other kids could do in a material sense: live in a house with central air conditioning, go to summer camp, get braces so as to have a perfect smile, have an up-to-date computer that could run the latest software, have a hand-me-down car to drive when I turn 16, etc., all of which were things the solidly middle-class Jews I went to school with had but we couldn’t afford. So my father didn’t realize that by being rebellious and failing to get a solid white collar job, he was in fact perpetuating the cycle of kids not being able to do what all the other kids were doing that he thought was so problematic.

    Hermes

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • That’s the thing about being rebellious. You need money to do it. Growing up with nothing, you got nothing to lose. So be rebellious. Growing up with little, however, makes a person want to conform just enough such that they keep what they have and maybe get more. And then there are those who can fuck up with no consequences. They smash a car? Daddy buys a new one. Busted with pot? They go to rehab, not to prison.

      njguy73

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

    • You needed a good personality and athletic skill, not braces. You can’t do what other kids are doing if they never invite you anywhere.

      Magnavox

      April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

      • It wasn’t your braces, Maggie.

        driveallnight

        April 17, 2018 at EDT pm

      • “It wasn’t your braces, Maggie.”

        Ouch! Driveallnight, you’re cruel. Maggie, just be glad you aren’t a guido, or he’d have written something worse.

        maryk

        April 19, 2018 at EDT am

  8. My children don’t use social media. They have accounts and follow their friends/ cousins but don’t post content of their own. No FB, twitter etc.. We’ve always had a household rule of no social media, for privacy rasons, and surprisingly the kids have taken it seriously and respected it. Of course I’ve broken the rule by blogging but that’s because I have Compulsive Writing Disorder.

    toomanymice

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  9. When I was a kid there were some parents that refused to buy their kids (well, their boys) a Nintendo (original NES) even though everyone else had one. So what these kids would do is go over to their friends’ house and play their Nintendo for hours on end. And nothing is more annoying than some other kid sitting around your house playing the Nintendo games you got bored with months ago – we all wound up hating these kids. So ironically, their parents’ decision made the kids less likely to participate in social activities outside.

    Jokah Macpherson

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  10. Bella Thorne claims that she earns $65K per instagram post.

    Truth or BS?

    gothamette

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  11. your two navigational tools, which are core principles in conflict resolution, remain the same: effective communication and genuine respect.

    Genuine respect? For a teenager? BWAHAHAHAHA! It will be ten years, at least, before they do anything remotely worthy of respect.

    As a former teenager, you have an advantage and a responsibility in that area.

    Yes, being a former teenager is exactly why I do NOT want my teenagers on social media. Nothing good can come of it. I remember all the stupid stuff I said when I was in high school. THANK GOD none of that has been preserved on the internet forever.

    Tarl

    April 16, 2018 at EDT pm

  12. I am not against instagram but there are certain things to keep in perspective: 1) Generally speaking you should try to avoid dating a girl who has more instagram followers than you. 2) Having 50k followers is great, but the day your car breaks down in the desert, maybe your followers will send you a gas can emoji, but if you want help you’re going to have to call up a real friend.

    DataExplorer

    April 19, 2018 at EDT am

    • You can use the money you make from being an influencer to pay for a roadside assistance subscription.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      April 19, 2018 at EDT am


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: