Lion of the Blogosphere

Crappy vampire fiction

with 11 comments

https://www.wattpad.com/story/4459666-pure-complete

Looks like 80,000 people have read this thing. Riddled with typos and missing punctuation. Annoyingly flips point-of-view, even in the middle of chapters. Awful dialog. The protagonist, based on the first few chapters, is a “Mary Sue” type of character, the prettiest most powerful vampire that all the males, both vampire and human, lust after. Her only flaw is that she was fat and ugly when she was human.

On the other hand, I guess the author (perhaps a teenage girl?), despite lacking in technical competence, has given readers what they want, and done so with imagination and creativity and sex scenes (personal experience or just from reading a lot of romance fiction?). Just because I know how to punctuate a sentence doesn’t mean I can write a better serial novel.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

September 19, 2018 at EDT am

Posted in Books

11 Responses

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  1. My Mary Sue character would have had great intelligence, and ben head and shoulders above their peers in quasi-magical ability. The character’s weakness wouldn’t have been that they used to look exactly like the author. The weakness would have been a lack of leadership charisma.

    The character would have been reading books on cult leaders and marveling that people who didn’t have quasi-magical powers got so much mileage out of charisma. Also the character would understand the value of team work, and try to form alliances to balance out their weaknesses.

    MoreSigmasThanYou

    September 19, 2018 at EDT am

  2. Looks like 80,000 people have read this thing. Riddled with typos and missing punctuation. Annoyingly flips point-of-view, even in the middle of chapters. Awful dialog. The protagonist, based on the first few chapters, is a “Mary Sue” type of character, the prettiest most powerful vampire that all the males, both vampire and human, lust after. Her only flaw is that she was fat and ugly when she was human.

    That would matter if the book were marketed to English teachers, which as we all know is a huge market, but most readers are not that discriminating.

    grey enlightenment

    September 19, 2018 at EDT am

  3. I get that these amateur works are going to require editing, but if you come across some that are actually well written and are entertaining stories, post them here since I’m all about reading stuff for free. It’s my favorite search category on Amazon and ITunes.

    Mike Street Station

    September 19, 2018 at EDT am

    • Check out Library Genesis.

      Also, you can read a lot of Edgar Rice Burroughs for free, legally, and he’s a better writer than 99% of Wattpad authors.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

      • I’ve probably read just about all of ERB that I want to read, which happens to be a lot. Exception being the Tarzan books; they were too repetitive.

        Mike Street Station

        September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

      • You can legally read everything before 1918 and lots of things published afterwards on web archive or google books.
        https://archive.org/advancedsearch.php

        If you are less scrupulous, nearly everything is on Library Genesis.

        http://gen.lib.rus.ec/

        stopped doomsday clock

        September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

    • This seems like a strange attitude given that you can go to any library and have more books than you ever might be able to read without having to slum it on fanfiction websites. There’s a reason fanfiction is for fans.

      Panther of the Blogocube

      September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

  4. You just gotta identify the elements that readers respond to. If it’s Mary Sues and sex scenes, then write it up with good dialogue, consistent POV and plenty of proof-reading game. Voila, you’ve got a better novel than the fat girl with all the bits the girl groupies are reading this schlock for anyway.

    What’s more popular, first-person stories or omniscient narratives that include the thoughts of the lustful male suitors? Maybe the POV shifts because girls are intensely curious about what’s going on inside the person lusting after them.

    Richard

    September 19, 2018 at EDT am

  5. Sometimes poor grammar and rambling adds to the ‘voice.’ Like the novel ‘push’ which is believably written from the POV of an illiterate ghetto teenager.

    If you do write something on there you better give us the link!

    toomanymice

    September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

  6. “wattpad” is garbage. Crap design, forces you to log with facebook, does not allow comments.

    Go to http://www.fanfiction.net, if you are serious about wasting your life. This site is 20 years old, with real discussion, real feedback and real community.
    Home of the world’s most famous Harry Potter fanfics.

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6829556/1/My-Immortal

    If you want to write something original and not 100,000th “Harry Potter, Transgendered Werewolf Ninja Vampire” search

    Archive of Our Own
    Fiction Press

    for NSFW content

    Literotica

    stopped doomsday clock

    September 19, 2018 at EDT pm

  7. There’s tons available. For examples fanfiction.net is just for fan fiction writing. fictionpress.com is for original works. topwebfiction.com allows readers to vote on their favorite stories on any platform.

    If you want vampires, try Luminosity http://luminous.elcenia.com/ which is a retelling of the Twilight series with the main character Bella being a more intelligent/logical person. It starts out similar and diverges quickly. Oh, and I didn’t see Jim Carrey’s movie Once Bitten on your list of vampire credentials. If you haven’t seen it yet you’d probably like it given how you like to review 80s media.

    The two written works in progress I enjoy the most are Worth the Candle and Mother of Learning. Both are on topwebfiction

    Aric

    September 20, 2018 at EDT am


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