Lion of the Blogosphere

Too lazy to open a can of tuna?

In a country focused on convenience, canned tuna isn’t cutting it with consumers. Many can’t be bothered to open and drain the cans, or fetch utensils and dishes to eat the tuna. “A lot of millennials don’t even own can openers,” said Andy Mecs, vice president of marketing and innovation for Pittsburgh-based StarKist, a subsidiary of South Korea’s Dongwon Group.

I had the same problem when I ate sardines, they are in this gross fishy-smelling liquid that gets all over your fingers as you try to drain it, and then you smell like fish for a whole day.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

December 5, 2018 at 4:40 PM

Posted in Bobos

73 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Buy nitrile exam gloves. They sell boxes of them at Costco. Where them when cooking or eating anything messy, or cleaning.

    Dave Pinsen

    December 5, 2018 at 4:56 PM

  2. Stan Adams

    December 5, 2018 at 5:05 PM

  3. If you want to eat sardines without getting fish juice all over your hands, you should consider going to prison. The butterfly can openers that are available in most US prisons are a pain to use and an indigent inmate will open a can for you for a pinch of Bugler tobacco and a rolling paper. Give him two pinches and you might get a smile and a “thank you,” which will make the sardines taste much better.

    Horace Pinker

    December 5, 2018 at 5:10 PM

  4. If you open the can with a can opener, your cats can hear you. And they’ll soon be demanding a share of your tuna.

    Who has time for that?

    Better if tuna came in a bag with easy-open tabs.


    December 5, 2018 at 5:16 PM

    • Indeeds, cats LOVE tunafish.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      December 5, 2018 at 7:34 PM

    • It does.

      Mrs Stitch

      December 5, 2018 at 8:42 PM

    • Does cats hear manual can openers?


      December 6, 2018 at 7:27 AM

      • Cats have great hearing, of course they can.

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        December 6, 2018 at 7:31 AM

      • That good? I did not know that.


        December 6, 2018 at 12:29 PM

      • Of course they can hear a can opening – they can probably learn the sound of a plastic bag opening, if it contains tuna.


        December 6, 2018 at 8:20 PM

  5. Now they have tuna in a pouch, but you still need a fork to eat it and a napkin. It’s outrageously expensive, though. I was just watching “My Cousin Vinny” where the two guidos travelling through the South by car were eating a lot of canned tuna. One complains to the other that he’s sick of tuna fish, and his friend replies that they need the protein because it’s brain food. He says “Look, we’re already guidos. We don’t want to lose any more brain power, do we?” (Actually, I’m kidding. He didn’t say that!)

    maryk (the g-loaded guidette)

    December 5, 2018 at 5:28 PM

    • >(Actually, I’m kidding. He didn’t say that!)

      I was going to say. I re-watched it about a year ago and I remember the college boys being one Italian and one Jew!


      December 6, 2018 at 4:49 AM

  6. that liquid is always olive oil or water.

    is this a submission of lion’s to The Onion?

    the only problem with tuna is mercury. the only problem with sardines is the pull back lid often doesn’t work, so a can opener is needed.

    a little bit

    December 5, 2018 at 5:34 PM

  7. As someone who regularly purchases bottom of the line canned food I can attest to serious structural issues with a lot of cans. They don’t open evenly, have cut resistant spots, and it turns into WW3 getting the damn thing open. I’ve resorted to hammers and more than once nearly sliced off my fingerprints trying to pry these puppies open. I would love to see legislation requiring pull top tabs on all canned food for safety reasons.

    Canned fish is nasty. I am a devout carnivore and even I won’t touch it.

    I buy spinach, chick peas, tomatoes, tomato sauce, mandarins, yams and mixed vegetables canned. They taste fine and no bad smell.

    Sardines are on sale at costco for ~$4/lb this month. (And asus chromebook is on sale for $300 marked down from $400.)


    December 5, 2018 at 6:17 PM

    • Right – this is not laziness. Cans are horrible. I don’t mind opening up a can of stewed tomatoes to make sauce, but cans of tuna and sardines are terrible.

      I cut a finger on a can of anchovies once and I still have a tiny scar.

      This is not laziness Lion. Cans with oily fish inside are just not a great way to go. Pouches are progress.

      BTW, I had Geek Squad replace my crappy hard drive w/the SSD and it is running much better.


      December 5, 2018 at 8:18 PM

      • Glad to here that the computer upgrade worked out!

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        December 5, 2018 at 10:52 PM

      • I don’t buy canned foods of any kind. Fresh or frozen only. But I’m a “supertaster” who has had issues with food for my whole live. My sister has it too.

        I didn’t even know such a condition existed until I was about 50 or so. My mother was annoyed but didn’t force us to eat stuff.

        It had a bad effect on my social life, since I tried to avoid things like sit down dinners with people I didn’t know well.

        When food allergies became common (due to our immune system screwed up by lack of pathogens say some) I started using that as an excuse. Well… if you give an elastic definition to “allergy” I wasn’t lying.

        In fact food allergies are ghastly I’ve learned, even life-threatening. Even if you carry an Epipen, you still get really sick if your allergy kicks in. Many who suffer from such allergies never eat anything they didn’t prepare themselves,

        Frau Katze

        December 6, 2018 at 2:04 AM

      • I’m having them do my little Lenovo next. This will save me from buying new equipment next year (I hope) although it’s in spirit un-American. We should buy buy buy!

        Oh, I’m binge-watching Silicon Valley. What a great show! I can’t believe you didn’t post more about it. It’s like Big Bang Theory but way better.


        December 6, 2018 at 6:18 AM

      • The SSD is the greatest upgrade and often the only one that most people will need.


        December 6, 2018 at 1:46 PM

      • It worked for me. I’ll never buy another laptop with a regular hard drive again – although something tells me they’ll prob. stop selling them soon. SSD is the way to go.


        December 6, 2018 at 8:23 PM

    • I have arthritis, so I bought one of these and mounted it on my kitchen table. It opens everything easily.

      not too late

      December 6, 2018 at 7:49 PM

      • do you have a link to the specific product? thanks.


        December 7, 2018 at 8:39 AM

  8. Does that mean they won’t mix the tuna with anything else and will eat it straight out of the can if they can open it with a pop top? Talk about digestively unhealthy.

    Big Joan Setup

    December 5, 2018 at 6:19 PM

    • how is that unhealthy?


      December 5, 2018 at 8:38 PM

      • Tuna has zero fiber. Eating a lot of protein with no fiber to assist it through the digestive system is not good. It’s why you need peas in tuna casserole. They’re not added just for the taste.

        Big Joan Setup

        December 6, 2018 at 5:44 AM

      • I recommend oatmeal. Very cheap, and very high in fiber.

        Although yes, legumes are also high in fiber.

        Lion of the Blogosphere

        December 6, 2018 at 7:57 AM

      • Mix tuna with cole slaw and eat it as a sandwich or salad. Want fiber you got it!

        Ok, what, who's this again?

        December 6, 2018 at 1:13 PM

    • I’ve gone years consuming nothing but meat and fat. I’m fine and bloodwork is good. I eat this way to control diabetes without meds or insulin. I’m also bone thin despite having eaten flocks of chickens and a small army of lamb. look up ‘zero carb’ if you’re interested.


      December 6, 2018 at 1:08 PM

      • Facts check out. You probably have no energy and chronic bad breath as well because ketosis is a terrible way to get energy. Last time I tried Atkins I felt depressed, lethargic, had no mental or physical energy. If I time my carbs correctly, eating them only before physical exertion, I will lose weight effortlessly so long as my diet is otherwise fat and protein. But carbs are very tempting, they put me in a good mood.

        Science, yo.


        December 6, 2018 at 4:38 PM

      • Yep, I think Jordan Peterson is on that diet, too. I tried it once but got severe carb cravings, If I was diabetic I’d certainly consider it.

        Frau Katze

        December 6, 2018 at 11:00 PM

      • hard9, I really had no ill effects. Even I was surprised. No bad breath, lethargy or digestion issues. My bloodwork was superhuman. However I’d been eating lowish carb for about a year before I attempted to eat no carbs at all- so the transition was not difficult.

        frau katz, I watched joe rogan’s interview with perterson’s daughter. They both follow an all meat diet. Also watched saun baker’s interview. I was eating zero carb before I realized it was “a thing.” However if any diabetics are reading this, be care to test regularly, as protein can cause bgs to spike due to lack of insulin response. So some diabetics need to restrict protein as well as carbs even though the impact of protein is less severe. Fat is the safest thing for diabetics to eat since it doesn’t raise bgs.


        December 7, 2018 at 8:38 AM

  9. When my old landlord had an open house, I had to expose my living quarters to strangers who no doubt poked their noses into my cabinets and closets. I had two can-openers on a shelf (a brand new one, and a janky older one). Both were stolen. As far as I know, nothing else was taken.


    December 5, 2018 at 7:42 PM

  10. I see the lack of variety of kinds and preparations of canned fish in the US vs. what you can see in many other countries.

    My 2¢

    December 5, 2018 at 7:55 PM

    • A while ago I read in a catalog from a U.S. hunting supply company that they had canned tilapia. I’ve never seen or heard of that again. Maybe it was a dream.

      Big Joan Setup

      December 6, 2018 at 5:53 AM

    • I sometimes eat canned salmon. It’ twice the price of tuna, but delicious and less prole.

      E. Rekshun

      December 6, 2018 at 11:11 AM

      • At costco canned salmon is about the same price as the tuna.


        December 7, 2018 at 8:40 AM

    • Supposedly lisbon has the best canned fish on earth.

      Costco sells a brand of wild caught tuna that is actually quite good, and the italian oil packed brand, also decent. I’ll still pass on the canned fish though.


      December 6, 2018 at 1:12 PM

  11. Why would you need a can opener these days, all the cans come with this thing you pull, I haven’t used a can opener for years and I eat canned food almost every week, especially sardines.


    December 5, 2018 at 8:43 PM

    • There still exist cans that don’t have a tab.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      December 5, 2018 at 10:54 PM

      • And tabs sometimes break.


        December 6, 2018 at 4:41 PM

    • Tuna doesn’t come in said cans.


      December 7, 2018 at 4:00 AM

  12. ‘Seasons’ tins of sardines (wild caught and sustainable) of late have this foil type peel back lid, regardless, open tin in sink, drain tin while holding sardines in tin with use of fork, transfer sardines to some sort of tupperware container, wash hands if needed.

    You’re welcome.

    Karl Hungus

    December 5, 2018 at 8:43 PM

    • Those cans still suck. It’s hard to pull back the lid and you can get hurt as I did w/the can of anchovies, although it’s true that the blood helped to season the pasta sauce.

      Anyone ever tried that? Pasta sauce w/blood? Unkosher!


      December 6, 2018 at 6:20 AM

      • Human flesh and blood are pareve believe it or not.

        If you consider how often cooks cut themselves this is a salient kashrut concern!


        December 6, 2018 at 1:14 PM

      • Oh right, I’d forgotten.


        December 6, 2018 at 8:23 PM

  13. The key is Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s for the low status millennial who can’t afford the former. They want everything prepackaged and ready to eat. If not, organic, natural and easy to prepare. Millennials are willing to put in the effort, if gives them status.

    Ok, what, who's this again?

    December 5, 2018 at 9:27 PM

  14. Going around with hands reeking of fish might cause people to wonder about your girlfriend.



    December 5, 2018 at 9:44 PM

  15. Don’t you have things like these in the US? You just peel it open:


    December 5, 2018 at 10:14 PM

    • Yes, but they are imported from Europe and cost $3 or more a can. Most food is much cheaper in the USA than EU, but imported Euro food is fairly expensive. I buy it anyway sometimes for variety.


      December 6, 2018 at 6:32 PM

  16. I bought a can of sardines after you raved about them in a post. Had to throw the whole thing in the garbage. You don’t know what the hell you are eating. Ask your mother to make you the Jewish carp.


    December 5, 2018 at 10:37 PM

  17. I’ve noticed that more and more tuna fish cans are using the pop off top rather than the kind that require an opener. I theorized it is two markets that are driving this- paleo/cross fit folks who eat a can of tuna as a cheap protein snack and may be eating it on the go, and homeless people. But laziness might be the more likely culprit.

    Eating tuna fish from the can is fine so long as it is in olive oil rather than water. I don’t even know why tuna (or worse, sardines) are even sold in water. Disgusting! If you don’t want to look like a prole or soccer mom when buying tuna, buy the Tonnino brand ($7-$9) or Ortiz ($10+) that are cut in filets and come in a jar rather than a can and taste a lot better.


    December 5, 2018 at 10:43 PM

  18. In old age, these millennials will need can openers for cat food (to sustain themselves, not cats).


    December 5, 2018 at 10:51 PM

    • Commercial cat food is at most 30% meat/ animal products (canned cat food can be as little as 10% meat). The rest is filler like rice. Considering the cheapest cat food is about 70 cents a pound, it would be smarter to buy chicken for the same price if you want an inexpensive protein source. In fact lentils probably have more protein per cent than cat food.


      December 6, 2018 at 9:15 AM

  19. If you ever had tuna fresh off the boat any canned it at home you would never be able to eat store bought tuna again. Home canned tuna is amazing.


    December 5, 2018 at 10:53 PM

    • When I was a kid, my dad and I caught a 700 lb tuna on a handline. Towed the fish into the docks at Gloucester, MA and sold it to the Japanese for $2.50/lb.

      E. Rekshun

      December 6, 2018 at 4:45 AM

  20. for some reason canned salmon never caught on

    grey enlightenment

    December 6, 2018 at 2:20 AM

  21. because i am a good person i will share this with lion and his readers. the answer to life the universe and everything is the following:

    a little bit

    December 6, 2018 at 2:57 AM

  22. I’ve noticed these pop-top cans on all kinds of products are more common as well.

    Considering that can openers seem to have gone down hill, I always have my maid look for them.

    The Old Libertarian

    December 6, 2018 at 3:25 AM

  23. Interesting discussion thread (click to read the whole thing):


    December 6, 2018 at 6:31 AM

  24. Thirty years ago I bought a can of Norwegian sardines and it came with a P-38 like opener. I still have the opener on my key chain. It is of much better quality than the standard issue P-38.


    December 6, 2018 at 6:43 AM

    • The P-38 was pretty good at opening up Zeros, but there can’t be much left after opening a can of sardines with one.


      December 6, 2018 at 10:10 AM

  25. Interesting, how long is a can is edible? Is it forever? I mean it’s hermetically sealed so why would it go bad? Lion can be eating a fish from Noah’s times for all we know.


    December 6, 2018 at 7:41 AM

    • Cans should stay good for a lot longer than the date on the can.

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      December 6, 2018 at 7:59 AM

      • Check this MRE review channel.

        He eats decades old cans, among other things!

        Things hold up better than you’d expect.


        December 6, 2018 at 8:46 AM

  26. “then you smell like fish for a whole day”

    This is bad? My cats love it!

    Black Death

    December 6, 2018 at 8:02 AM

  27. I mentioned this in the last post on canned sardines, but I feel like mentioning it again. A senior IT guy at work, early 40s, eats canned Beefaroni or Ramen noodles every day for lunch. He comments about how inexpensive his lunch is (“ten packages of Ramen noodles for $1!”). These meals got to be 10x the recommended daily salt and carb intake. He’s put on 40 lbs in the past three years. He’s a diploma mill grad, and has 4 young daughters at home w/ a non-working spouse, so I guess he needs to be frugal.

    E. Rekshun

    December 6, 2018 at 11:21 AM

    • “He’s put on 40 lbs in the past three years.”

      So the cheap food provided more than enough calories!

      Lion of the Blogosphere

      December 6, 2018 at 1:33 PM

    • He has a wife and 4 kids, who cares if he is fat?


      December 7, 2018 at 4:02 AM

  28. Kipper snacks > tunafish, and the cans always open easily.

    Seth Largo (@SethLargo)

    December 6, 2018 at 1:08 PM

  29. Some wit once referred to humans as “giant can openers” to cats.

    Meanwhile, there’s this:

    I love cats. Which is kinda interesting as really they are stone cold killers.


    December 7, 2018 at 7:46 AM

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: