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Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Good movies where the woman rescues the man?

Complaining about Rey from the new Star Wars movies, “prolier than thou” writes in a comment:

Really, how many men have ever wanted to be rescued by a woman and how many women have wanted to physically rescue a man?

I very much enjoyed the movie the Ninth Gate, which had that theme in it. Johnny Depp played a nebbish book detective who was not able to defend himself from the goons who were after him. (And in the politically incorrect screenplay, the girl is called “THE GIRL” and not “THE WOMAN.”)

Are there any other good movies like that? (No, not Wonder Woman.)

* * *

I forgot the TV series Chuck! A loser who works at a Best Buy type of store has to be protected by a beautiful secret agent. Great show, hilarious, at least for the first two seasons.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

June 4, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

Solo, first money-losing Star Wars film?

One of the reasons why it cost so much to make is that Kathleen Kennedy fired the original directors, Chris Miller and Phil Lord, and then Ron Howard was brought in to reshoot 85% of what was already shot.

I can’t help but think that Disney paid a lot of money to reshoot everything and make the movie worse than what was originally shot. All because Kathleen Kennedy threw a hissy fit because Miller and Lord refused to make the boring movie that Kennedy wanted. In retrospect, Miller and Lord probably realized Kennedy’s vision sucked and were trying to make a better movie.

* * *

My second take on Solo’s low box office take

After Last Jedi, no one wanted to see another Star Wars movie. OK, “no one” is an exaggeration, a lot of people did go to see Solo, but Last Jedi really did suck all of the enthusiasm out of the franchise.

I have pretty much zero desire to go see the sequel to Last Jedi. There’s little investment in the overall bigger story, it just seems like everyone is shooting at each other for no reason except that they on different sides. The only likeable character in Last Jedi, Poe, was shit on by the bitchy women in charge. Rey, who is the hero of the new series, is a boring supergirl in whom I am not emotionally invested. As I complained before, whereas Luke was an inexperienced kid in the first Star Wars movie, and he gets his hand chopped off in the second movie for being so self-important that he thinks he can ignore Yoda who says he doesn’t have enough training to handle Darth Vader (and Yoda was right), Rey is a supergirl who can do everything and beat anyone in a lightsaber duel with no training at all. Do I really care about her inevitable victory over the bad guys in the next movie? No, I don’t.

This feeling I had probably seeped into a lot of people who previously watched Last Jedi and suppressed interest in another Star Wars movie, even though Solo is not directly related to Last Jedi, and in fact it’s probably a much better movie.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

June 4, 2018 at EDT am

Posted in Movies

Previous review of Goodbye Columbus, the movie

Philip Roth died yesterday.

I was reminded by a commenter that I previously reviewed a movie based on one of his books, Goodbye Columbus (1969).

Part 1 of the review.

Part 2 of the review.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 23, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

Best Muppet movie ever?

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 19, 2018 at EDT am

Posted in Movies

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

I finally watched it.

The original Star Wars movie was a story about three white males (Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Ben Kenobi) going on an adventure together.

In this latest Star Wars movie, we see the final destruction of white male power. They got rid of Han Solo in the last movie, and in this movie Luke Skywalker is reduced to being useless, and now he’s gone also (at least I think he’s supposed to be gone). The only white male still left is the bad guy played by the actor who was Hannah’s boyfriend in Girls. The message is that white males are either useless or a source of evil.

Now it’s all women and minorities. Although I confess that Poe, played by an Hispanic actor, is likable, but the movie made him wrong about everything (although not his fault that the bitchy women in charge sucked at communicating with him). I guess that even though he’s Hispanic, they can’t make him too awesome because he’s still male and looks pretty white.

Rey, played by Daisy Ridley, is still super-awesome at everything. All girl power all the way.

Why did the critics give this movie such good reviews? Obviously, the reviews these days are based entirely on how many SJW and diversity boxes can be checked. Passengers (2016) was a very enjoyable science fiction movie, but critics hated on it because it violated SJW norms.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 12, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

That Karate Kid (1984)

I was recommended this movie by readers. Once again, I was led astray. This movie sucks. Corny, all of the characters are unidimensional archetypes, and in some cases more like parodies of unidimensional archetypes. That’s certainly the case for Arnold from Happy Days who is turned into a parody of the wise Asian with an overdone Japanese accent.

Ralph Macchio was actually 22 years old when this movie was filmed, but he looks convincingly like a little guido kid. When he’s with Elisabeth Shue (who was 20 at the time), he looks way too young for her.

Only scenes worth watching:

(1) Bananarama song Cruel Summer plays while Ralph Macchio goes to his first day at his new school.

(2) Ralph Macchio goes on the cutest date ever with Elisabeth Shue. Middle-aged heterosexual men aren’t supposed to say “cutest date ever,” but I don’t know how else to describe it.

For really good eighties movies, here are my recommendations:

St. Elmo’s Fire
Wall Street
Back to the Future (only the first movie)
The Breakfast Club

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

May 11, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

Oscars discussion

The Shape of Water wins Best Picture. I hated that movie. “Another case of an Oscar-nominated movie being a mélange of lessons about racism and how fortunate we are not to live in the hate-filled time of 1962.”

Gary Oldman wins Best Actor for playing Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. I thought it was massive overacting. “Oldman plays Churchill the way William Shatner played James T. Kirk, and no one would ever think of giving William Shatner an award for great acting.”

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

March 5, 2018 at EDT am

Posted in Movies

Phantom Thread (2017)

Spoilers ahead!

He asks out a waitress.
She’s charmed because he’s a famous dressmaker and he wears really spiffy clothes.
Then he’s an asshole.
Then she feeds him a poisonous mushroom.
Then they get married.
Then he’s still an asshole.
Then she feeds him more poisonous mushrooms.

Boring and pretentious and boring.

Is this what passes for romance these days?

But at least there are no sassy black women and no gay sex (or sex with sea monsters).

* * *

So my favorite movie for Best Picture is Lady Bird.

I have not watched The Post (because newspaper movies are always boring) nor Call Me By Your name (glorifying gay child molestation? no thanks).

* * *

Get Out: This was a fun movie if you overlook the dumb racial politics.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

March 2, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

Dunkirk (2017)

It’s a visual movie, not one about plot or suspense or learning anything about the characters. It takes place in three different timelines. While most movies are ruined by knowing too much about the movie before you watch it, Dunkirk is the opposite. Before you watch it, I recommend that you read as many reviews of the movie as you can so you know what’s going on. And then sit back and enjoy a slow-paced movie without any bloody gore. Although many people die, they don’t die with blood spurting everywhere. The are no loud sounds of gunfire and explosions, everything is soft and muted. The color palette looks like film from the 1960s. If you’re not the kind of person who can just appreciate a movie for the way it looks even though nothing much happens, then you might find it very boring. Or you might think the movie is arty in a snobby and pretentious kind of way.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

January 27, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

Darkest Hour (2017)

I don’t think I need to have a spoilers warning. I mean, you all know what happened, it’s history. Winston Churchill becomes Prime Minister, then he gives a good speech or two.

* * *

At the beginning of the movie, I was wondering, who is this senile old drunk man? And where is Winston Churchill, said to be the greatest statesman of the 20th Century? Well it turned out that the senile old drunk man was Winston Churchill.

So we have actor Gary Oldman, 59 in real life but looks ten years younger than his biological age, wearing a bunch of makeup and fake fat so he looks like he’s a fat man in his late 70s, in order to play Winston Churchill who was actually only 65 when he took over as Prime Minister in 1940.

Gary Oldman was nominated for an Academy Award for best actor for this role. Maybe some people think it’s great acting because they can actually see the acting, but it seems to me like a massive case of overacting. Oldman plays Churchill the way William Shatner played James T. Kirk, and no one would ever think of giving William Shatner an award for great acting.

This movie turned into two hours of watching a doddering old drunk guy chain-smoking cigars. Pretty disappointing. I refuse to believe that Churchill was like that in real life.

* * *

The current trend for movies that take place in the past is to show the past as being full of racism, homophobia and misogyny. We don’t see any of that in this movie. Not a gay person to be seen at all. No women are sexually harassed. The movie does show discrimination against women, because not a single woman is shown holding a high level job in government or the military. The women are relegated to the typing pool and not allowed into the men-only map room. Of course it would be a huge rewrite of history to actually have women in those positions when historically there were none. But none of the women complain about it or even take notice of the slight.

Talking about huge rewrites of history, you wouldn’t think to find many black people in London in 1940 (I estimate that 1 in a 1000 Londoners were black at the time), but Churchill manages to find one when he decides to take a subway ride in order to talk to the common people, and a black man named Marcus gives him wise advice. See the Magical Negro Trope. “In order to show the world that minority characters are not bad people, one will step forward to help a ‘normal’ person, with their pure heart and folksy wisdom.” Yep, that describes the encounter perfectly.

The movie is able to be nominated for an Academy Award despite not checking off SJW checkboxes because of the Hitler myth. Hitler and the Nazis are considered such great evil that it transcends anything to do with homophobia and stuff like that, and therefore they are allowed to portray a bunch of old white men as being good people who don’t harass women or discriminate against gays and blacks, because they are fighting Hitler! Fighting Hitler is like checking off ten SJW boxes all at once!

World War II is the only war that Hollywood feels completely comfortable in endorsing as a clear-cut fight of good guys against bad guys. There’s nothing sociopathic about Churchill ordering thousands of men to their death in order to delay the Germans in their assault on Dunkirk. It was necessary in order to fight against Hitler, and all of the wusses on his war council who were aghast at the idea can be portrayed as a bunch of girly men without the backbone for real leadership. In contrast, if one can imagine a movie about George Bush and the Gulf War, the movie would take a much different moral viewpoint.

* * *

If it’s a choice between giving the Best Actor award to Gary Oldman or to the black guy in the movie Get Out, I say give it to the black guy. Get Out was enjoyable as schlocky horror movie and the black guy was pretty likeable, but Darkest Hour bored me to tears, until the we shall fight on the beaches speech at the end. I don’t know how a senile drunk guy managed to write and deliver such a good speech.

Written by Lion of the Blogosphere

January 26, 2018 at EDT pm

Posted in Movies

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